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Do you think he kissed the mailman? This guy better cash that baby in before it goes void after 90 days.
I’ve never wanted to win the lottery–people you hardly know just come out of the woodwork asking for cash.
“Remember me? It’s Beck from fourth grade. Hey, I got a great new startup I think you’ll be interested in,” or, “Hey [redacted], it’s Aunt Lucy. You know we’ve been having a lot of money problems recently. A few extra bucks could really help. We were always there for your parents during their muddy divorce.”
Fuck you, Aunt Lucy.
I seriously feel for this guy. I mean, his life is changed forever. I don’t need that in my life. I’d rather stay humble than have to constantl–wait, what? The check is only worth four bucks?
The check is only worth four bucks.
Shoutout to the trolls at the Iowa lottery office in Des Moines. I mean, there is a 99 percent chance a computer program wrote this check, but I like to imagine two miserable, lazy-ass guys who took six years to graduate from UNI in short-sleeved button-downs and black ties fucking with each check that leaves the office to spice up their day.