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Drunk Texas A&M Girl Crashes Into Cop Car While Taking Topless Selfie

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People do crazy things for love. And by “for love” I of course mean “to get someone to do it with them.”

From the Houston Chronicle:

Bryan Police Officer John Sartell was responding to a disturbance call in the area when he heard “a vehicle braking hard,” and he saw a gray Acura SUV crash into his parked patrol car, the affidavit states. Sartell said he found Rader in the gray Acura, with the airbags deployed, and she was not wearing a shirt.

“I asked her why she was not dressed while driving and she stated that she was taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at the red light,” Sartell said in the affidavit, adding that Rader had on an unclasped bra and was attempting to put on a black blouse when the officer approached her vehicle.
Sartell said in the affidavit that Rader told him she had an open bottle of wine in the car that she was bringing home from a friend’s house. Upon further inspection, Sartell found that the wine bottle was about a quarter of the way full with a “liquid that had the odor of an alcoholic beverage.”

I always enjoy the overly procedural language of police reports, but if I was a cop, I’d purposefully take it like ten steps too far.

“I then approached the vehicle, a silver Acura SUV, and observed deployed airbags, one female passenger, blonde, as well as two deployed female breasts, fully exposed with visible areola. Some nipple was visibly obscured by the aforementioned deployed airbags though I did later visibly confirm the presence of two full nipples.”

The student was taken to the hospital to have blood drawn, then booked in the Brazos County Jail and later released on a $2,000 bond.

I can’t imagine the freshman had a good time telling her parents about this, but hey, she’s young, maybe they were understanding.

“Now honey, I hope you learned a lesson from all this.”

“I did, dad. Don’t drink and drive…”

“Very good.”

“And wait until I get home to send boys nudes.”

“No, that’s not… fuck my life.”

Look on the bright side, in four years this will just be a funny story to tell your friends and the employers who Googled you.

[via The Houston Chronicle]

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