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Drunk Guy Steals Ambulance, Drives To Jack In The Box For Drunk Food

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Alcohol-induced kleptomania is annoyingly common. In most occurrences, it can be overlooked when a drunk kid steals something petty, like a couple flyers for a rival’s fundraiser, or a lawn chair. It’s tougher to ignore the drunk kleptos who steal emergency behicles. 24-year-old My Nguyen (seriously, that’s his actual name — He sounds like a Willa Cather novel (Editor’s Note: what kinda reference is that, you fucking nerd?)) of the Greater Dallas Area was stricken with drunchies early Sunday morning and decided to feed the beast with some Jack In The Box. Too drunk to drive a car, he decided to jack an ambulance parked outside the Baylor University Medical Center.

From Dallas Eater:

[T]he ambulance was reported as missing around 3 a.m. and recovered 30 minutes later in a parking lot near the Jack in the Box at Washington and Live Oak. When asked by police why he took the emergency vehicle, Nguyen allegedly said that “he was hungry.”

Cut My Nguyen some slack. He was hungry, and his logic was airtight: he knew he was a roadway liability, so he climbed into the ambulance knowing that, should he cause some problems with other motorists, he could easily transport the victims to the hospital after he wolfed down a couple Classic Buttery Jacks.

I hope he at least used the emergency lights to alert all the sober assholes on the road that My Nguyen is hungry and it’s a goddamn emergency.

[via Dallas Eater]

Image via Shutterstock

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Kramer Smash

Unabashed Pitt alum with an affinity for brown girls and Manhattans. Send lovelies to kraysmash@gmail.com

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