Alcohol is a gateway drug. My friend once did a vodka and now he can’t eat jellybeans anymore. Okay, I lied–I don’t have a friend. But I still think alcohol is ickypoo gross and should only be consumed by responsible people who aren’t going to get behind the wheel. The only wheel you should get behind when you’re drunk is the chorus of “Wagon Wheel.” It’s a TFM.
Anyway, drunk drivers are idiots. Usually I say that with regards to their idiotic decision to drive drunk, but, on top of that, this drunk driver who got pulled over for speeding made one of the stupidest, funniest decisions I’ve ever heard.
From Niagara This Week:
The responding officer found the vehicle pulled over on the shoulder on Townline and Canal roads in Welland. The officer saw the male driver and female passenger switching seats.
As officers approached the car, they determined that both the driver and the passenger were intoxicated.
Apparently the man who pulled the Chinese fire drill then lunged at the police officer, because luckily for him, American law has a strict “you can only get arrested for one thing at a time” policy and he wouldn’t get in trouble for it. (At least, I assume that’s what his thought process was.)
The arresting officer claimed that drunk idiots switching seats isn’t a rare occurrence.
“We’ve experienced that a lot,” he said. “They see the police, and they try to do a switcheroo.”
This confused me at first, because the only switcheroo I knew of was the one where one of my more attractive fraternity brothers brings home a girl, turns off the light, goes into the bathroom, and tags in the much less attractive me to get in on the action that I would never have been able to acquire by myself. But I get it now.
The original driver wasn’t the only one who was charged. As the woman was essentially intending to drive away after the officer let them go (as she was hoping would happen) she was charged with care and control of a motor vehicle while intoxicated.
[via Niagara This Week]