NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

Donnell Pumphrey Is Only The FBS All-Time Leading Rusher If You’re A Massive Dumbass

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

donnell pumphrey ron dayne san diego state all-time leading rusher

Earlier today, San Diego State senior RB Donnell Pumphrey rushed for 115 yards in the Aztecs’ 34-10 thrashing of the Hermanless Houston Cougs. This puts him at 6,405 career rushing yards, which the NCAA claims makes him the all-time leading rusher in FBS history. Which is true, if you’re a massive dumbass.

Pumphrey usurped the official title of FBS all-time leading rusher from Wisconsin RB Ron Dayne, who is, and probably always will be, the unofficial FBS all-time leading rusher. On his career, Dayne rushed for 7,125 yards. The reason why that’s not the official number as far as the NCAA is concerned? Quite literally because Ron Dayne was ahead of his time. Dayne tore up the field from 1996-1999, and the NCAA doesn’t count bowl game stats from before 2002 in any official totals. That kinda makes a humongous, gigantic, legacy-changing difference when you realize that Dayne somehow averaged 182 yards per bowl game across 4 bowls (two of those being Rose Bowls, mind you). Unless you’re a massive dumbass, I suppose.

So why doesn’t the NCAA count any bowl stats from before 2002? A couple of massive dumbasses that work for the NCAA gave Wisconsin Sports Radio Network the rundown.

“We are and have been very consistent that, while the policy or rule may change how a statistic or set of statistics is calculated for a current and/or subsequent seasons, we don’t change what was official from a previous season,” wrote Jeff Williams, the NCAA’s associate director of Media Coordination and Statistics.

“Would we be able to get all of Rudy Mobley’s statistics from the two bowl games he played in for Hardin Simmons in the late 1940s? If so, would we be able to get all the punt return yardage or kick return yardage or interception return yardage from every player in every bowl game, so we had the most accurate possible information for all career records, etc.”

“The bigger obstacle would still be that the official NCAA Statistics for those years did not include the bowl games,” Williams wrote. “The NCAA Statistical Records, in our view, should match the Official Final NCAA Statistical Rankings from each of the years a specific student-athlete competes.”

“The previous leadership of the NCAA’s statistics staff took the position that they didn’t want to re-write history,” wrote David Worlock, the NCAA’s director of Media Coordination and Statistics. “That, along with what (Williams) outlined, are the reasons we have not gone back and added statistics from bowl games played prior to 2002. For example, if Player X or Team Y was recognized as the 1964 single-season rushing leader, the staff didn’t think it was prudent to change that record 30+ years later.”

Imagine if you applied these massive dumbasses’ logic to other statistical areas.

A: “The official body count of the earthquake is 6,397.”

B: “Sir, I just received word that 728 more bodies were found.”

A: “I already said the official body count was 6,397.”

B: “But who’s going to notify the familie…”

A: “I SAID 6,397.”

Here are some absurd-but-true facts that a lot of massive dumbasses are overlooking when they claim that Donnell Pumphrey holds the college career rushing title.

• Pumphrey played in 54 career games, and all of them counted towards his 6,405 career yards. Dayne played in 47 career games, and only 43 of them counted towards his 6,397 career yards. That means Pumphrey effectively played in 11 more games than Dayne (and still only broke his record by 8 yards). To put that in perspective, Dayne only played in 11 games in each of the 1997-1998 seasons.

• Pumphrey needed 4 bowl games to break Dayne’s record that didn’t include bowl games.

• It took Donnell Pumphrey 54 games to hit 6,405 career yards. It took Ron Dayne 44.

#33 himself is not a massive dumbass.

He even changed up his Twitter bio.

Pumphrey’s an incredible player and one of the NCAA’s all-time great rushers (if you include bowl stats, Pumphrey is 3rd all-time behind Dayne and Tony Dorsett), but he’s no Ron Dayne.

Unless you’re a massive dumbass.

Image via Twitter

Email this to a friend

Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

29 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed