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Dick’s Picks Season 3, Episode 5

This week I'm trying to recover from gambling as mediocre as Allen's house. I also have to explain to that fucking simpleton what a "Taken" fund is, and why he needs to set one up in case his daughter is ever kidnapped by Albanian sex traffickers (who, incidentally, are very real and VERY adamant about collecting on losing Champions League bets). Oh, and that sick fuck Peter is back. I just want one quiet week in my office where Allen doesn't bother me, I can bet all day, and watch RedTube at my leisure. Is that so fucking much to ask?!?

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