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Detroit Tigers OF Tyler Collins was not too happy with the home fans’ reaction to him misplaying a fly ball, and he let them know it.
C’mon, Detroit. We expect this from Philadelphia, but not from y’all. Detroit is the classiest city I can think of. I’ve never been, but when I think of Detroit, all I can think about is a city full of epicurean aristocrats living lives of exorbitant hedonism and tons and tons of high-class, STD-free sex. “Detroit” literally translates from French into “strait” to commemorate all the hot, sexy straight sex in which Detroiters engage on an hourly basis. The fact that they’d be so low-brow and boo one of their own players baffles me.
Sure, you can say Tyler Collins should’ve caught the ball. As a firm believer that baseball players, who just stand out there on a field/in a dugout for 648 hours a year and somehow make millions of dollars for it, should be euthanized after they fuck up, you’d think I’d be in favor of the fans booing these human versions of fetching dogs.
On the contrary, however, I think they should be sympathized with when they fuck up. Can you imagine being hit with the realization that your already pretty-much-meaningless existence is actually 100% meaningless now that you can’t even correctly do the one unbelievably easy thing you’ve been trusted to do? Heart-wrenching stuff. It makes me so sad to think about. That’s why I support offing baseball’s klutzes. We don’t need that kind of negativity in the world.
Do better, Motor City..
Image via YouTube