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You know what the first rule of Toddler Fight Club is? It’s not “don’t talk about Toddler Fight Club,” because thankfully toddlers can’t talk all that well, let alone convey complex thoughts like “my teachers are making me fight my classmates for sport.” With that in mind the first rule of Toddler Fight Club would have to be something along the lines of “don’t take videos of Toddler Fight Club on your cellphone.” Yeah, that’s probably a good place to start.
Unfortunately for Tiana Harris, Lisa Parker, and Estafania Myers, the three purveyors of Delaware’s premiere Pre-K MMA Division, one of them broke that cardinal rule and did in fact film toddlers trading adorable blows on one of their phones.
CBS Philly reported that Tiana Harris, 19, Lisa Parker, 47, and Estefania Myers, 21, employees of the Hands of Our Future Daycare in Dover, were arrested after a cellphone video emerged of them allegedly encouraging two 3-year-olds to fight in an organized battle.
Police said in the video one child is heard yelling, “He’s pinching me!” A day care worker allegedly responded, “No pinching, only punching.
The worker added, “and no tattling either, you little bitch.”
Although wildly illegal, unethical, and frankly despicable, interest in the Toddler Fight Club has grown, specifically in the Mixed Martial Arts community. Rumor has it that TapouT, the famous MMA themed clothing brand, has already started planning a toddler combat themed line called (are you ready for this?) “NapouT.” GET IT!?!?! NAP!!!!!! Like the things toddlers take!
(*shits pants from laughing uncontrollably, high fives entire office, realizes that the pinnacle of comedy has been reached, ritualistically commits suicide*)
The video was viewed by police who said that although no child suffered serious injuries, the video made it painfully clear that the children were trying to hurt each other.
One toddler even went so far as to threaten to “do finguh paints” with the blood of his opponent.
Police reported that when the parents viewed the video they remained surprisingly composed, no doubt keeping in perspective the fact that their children weren’t murdered or molested, and thus chalking up the incident as a win.
fight promoters day care workers were charged with assault, endangering the welfare of a child, reckless endangering, and conspiracy. They were each released on $10,000 bond… that was no doubt covered by TapouT.
- [via Fox News]
[Ed. Note: Someone sent this in as a tip to @TFM_News but I couldn’t remember who, so, uh, thanks.]
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