DEA Agents Had Orgies With Cartel Hookers, But It Wasn’t A Big Deal

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Secret Service Pledge. TFM.
A report from the Justice Department released today alleges that several Drug Enforcement Administration agents were having “sex parties” with prostitutes that were hired by drug cartels from overseas.

The investigation began after the scandal involving Secret Service agents and Colombian hookers in 2012. While the report doesn’t specify which country the DEA agents were in, one law enforcement official said it was in Colombia, as well. Former Colombian cops also said that three DEA agents were provided money, expensive gifts, and weapons from cartel members. If by expensive gifts you mean prostitutes and invites to sex parties, that would be accurate.

The report says that “Although some of the DEA agents participating in these parties denied it, the information in the case file suggested they should have known the prostitutes in attendance were paid with cartel funds.” I mean, really, how else do hookers get paid for in Colombia? Overall, there were 26 allegations of soliciting prostitutes ranging from 2009 to 2012.

“The Department of Justice takes the issues [regarding sexual misconduct] raised in the Inspector General report seriously and…is taking steps to implement policies and procedures to help prevent them from happening in the future,” said Justice Department spokesman Patrick Rodenbush.

He also added a bit about enforcing a zero-tolerance policy. Funny, because while only seven of the ten agents accused have admitted to the crime they only received suspensions ranging from two to twelve days. Zero tolerance, my ass. I want those justices on our standards board because it looks like you can do whatever the fuck you want short of killing someone. Dry rush? Nope. Chapter funded strip club outings with allotted cash for VIP room service? Yep.

One of the cases involved a DEA regional director, an acting assistant regional director and a group supervisor failing to report to their superiors repeated allegations of special agents “frequenting a brothel while in an overseas posting.” They treated it, however, as a “local management issue.” Not really sure what that means, but if it means you don’t give a fuck about your agents banging hookers all the time, I suppose that’s pretty chill.

I’m really considering getting a job in government because it seems it’s always “sex scandal this, hookers and blow that,” yet it’s all okay. Furthermore, the report also concluded that the DEA, FBI and U.S. Marshall’s Service do not fully investigate allegations of sexual misconduct by their agents, even if there are shit-tons of evidence that it occurred.

I’m not even going to be fully investigated? That’s it, I’m out of here. Getting a job with the feds and going to Colombia.

[via Huffington Post]

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Fratrick Kane 88

You probably don't want to split a cab ride with me.

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