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Date A GDI, Marry A Sorority Girl

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Date A GDI, Marry A Sorority Girl

One of the great things about Specs on a Saturday is the absurd amount of free samples being handed out. Not only can I get a buzz on while booze shopping, but it allows me to try something new without the feeling of being tied down to this newfound beer or liquor. If I like it, I will buy it. If I don’t, I’ll move on to the old faithfuls that haven’t let me down in the past. This analogy can be translated to the dating scene as well. With GDIs being the free samples, and sorority girls being the old faithful that will always be there for you.

We used to have a saying amongst the fraternities at my school: “Fuck a Theta, marry a Zeta.” This was due to the party-girl nature that was prominent among all the Theta girls, while Zeta housed more homely girls who you would actually feel good about taking home to mom without worrying if she was going to ask to rip a line off the Thanksgiving turkey (a story for another time). So that’s where my “date a GDI, marry a sorority girl” slogan derived from.

GDI females are an interesting breed of women. They can range from goth girl to Bernie Sanders supporter to hippie who doesn’t shave her pits. However, there can be a normal GDI girl who for whatever reason just didn’t want to go Greek. That’s the girl you should strive to date unless you’re into the weird fetish shit that comes with armpit hair licking.

Dating the GDI is all about finding out what you really want. She’s going to be fun, reasonably good in the sack, and dedicated to you 100% of the time. However, what she may make up for in the bad can be hampered by the fact that she probably can’t cook for shit, wants to focus on her career and won’t be willing to pop out the twin boys you want (who turn into a stud QB/WR combo), and can be clingy because you’re all she has. That’s all fine and dandy, but that’s where the sorority girl kicks it up a notch.

Sorority girls come equipped with a large group of friends. Sorority girls travel in packs. They feed, hunt, and gossip together. This may sound like a downside, but it’s actually a blessing in disguise. That boys golf weekend you’ve been invited to go on? Do it. She’s happy to let you go because she has her girls and won’t be stuck at home watching Netflix all weekend by herself thinking about how you’re going to make it up to her. Plus, this group of girls will be her go-to for any and all fashion/“Am I fat?” comments. You won’t ever have to worry about her nagging to you to see if she looks good in something.

Another major advantage that sorority girls come with is their classiness. She’s perfect to take home to mom and raise your kids. She’s had experience taking care of her little when she was drunk or sick, so she’ll be able to handle your degenerate children. When it comes to your friends, she has their back and will be a fantastic wing woman by introducing her hot friends to your friends. That’s a win-win. You know how awkward it is when you have to hang out with a GDI’s friends and boyfriend? You can only spend so much time talking about that craft beer they are creating and trying not to strangle him when he says corporate America is ruining this country. Same friends, same interests, everyone is happy.

Don’t be afraid to test the waters of the GDI world for a quick taste.

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The Therapist

Not a licensed therapist, but that doesn't stop me anyway.

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