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It Appears Darrelle Revis Will Assault You If You Meet Him And Don’t Believe He’s Darrelle Revis

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darrelle revis assault

Noted Revis Island resident Darrelle Revis, the best NFL CB of the early 2000s/most average CB of the present day, is apparently not a fan of people coming up to him, asking if he’s Darrelle Revis, then not believing him when he tells them that he’s Darrelle Revis.

Revis was hit with 5 criminal charges, including aggravated assault and making terroristic threats (yes, seriously), after an altercation on Monday in his hometown of Pittsburgh. WTAE obtained the official criminal complaint document that gives an alleged timeline of events that the plaintiffs laid out for authorities. The part I find most interesting (and absurd) is the part describing how the altercation allegedly began, with plaintiff Dallas Cousins claiming he saw a man who looked like Darrelle Revis in the street before going up to the man to see if it was, indeed, Revis.

From WTAE:

Cousins stated that he asked the male if he was in fact Darrelle REVIS and he confirmed that he was. Cousins stated that he was in disbelief stating “No you’re not” and the male stated that he was in fact Darrelle REVIS.

It starts out innocently enough. When I read this, I pictured one of those Make-A-Wish videos where the little kid meets their idol and first can’t believe that it’s all really happening; that their dream is actually being realized. “No way!!!” he says before giving his hero’s leg a big hug that makes him forget about his terminal condition, if only for one fleeting moment. That’s before Revis hopped in, held little Timmy the one-legged cancer patient’s crutch in one hand, then pushed him over with the other.

Cousins stated that REVIS began becoming irate and began waving his hands in his face telling him to get out of his face. Cousins stated that REVIS pushed him in the chest and told him to get out of his face and that is when Cousins started recording video on his cell phone.

Yikes. I feel like maybe at that point, if you’re REVIS, you just whip out your ID, snap a couple photos, and go on your merry way. The whole warlock hand wavey deal combined with the Star Wars force push isn’t a good look when all that’s happening is that an NFL fan is in disbelief that the guy they’ve watched on TV for years is standing before their very eyes. That’s assault, brotha.

To read the full criminal complaint document (including where that whole terrorism charge comes in), click here.

[via WTAE]

Image via Shutterstock

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Jared Borislow

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a Senior Writer for Grandex Inc and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin.

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