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Cornell Offended By Pi Kapp’s Philanthropy Over The Word “Jugs”

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So, let me get this straight, Pi Kappa Phi organizes a philanthropy event with all of the sororities at Cornell, and what we’re choosing to focus on is the event’s name, which could possibly be misconstrued as offensive?

The event –– which was advertised with the title “Which Sorority Has the Best Water Jugs on Campus” –– encouraged each sorority to decorate a large water jug, which was then displayed Monday in the Robert Purcell Community Center and the Terrace Restaurant in the Statler Hotel. Passersby were encouraged to choose their favorite water jug and drop change into it to benefit Pi Kappa Phi’s philanthropic organization, Push America, which is dedicated to serving individuals with disabilities.

What a bunch of assholes. How dare they use the word “jugs” to describe water jugs? It clearly oppresses women. I bet every one of the sorority girls involved in the event felt so degraded.

Associate Dean of Students Travis Apgar said his office raised concerns with Pi Kappa Phi’s national organization on Monday morning after staff members noticed the large sign placed outside the Statler Hotel promoting the event.

Really, Travis? You had to go straight to nationals? You couldn’t have tried getting in touch with the chapter first? You must be the most spineless, dickless dean of students in America if a damn sign causes you to tattle to a fraternity’s national organization instead of trying to deal with it yourself.

It’d also be worthwhile to mention that the sign featured a picture of a water jug, just to send home the point that this was about sororities WATER jugs.

Prof. Mary K. McCullough, feminist, gender and sexuality studies, similarly denounced the event as “pretty much straight-up juvenile and offensive,” but said she would have simply dismissed it as silly if not for her concerns about the event’s latent sexual implications.

Ugh. That’s the joke. The word “jugs” is funny in a juvenile way. It’s one of those words that was hilarious in middle school because it had a dirty meaning but you could still say it, like “ass” or “wiener.”

Kathleen McArdle ’14, a member of Phi Sigma Sigma, said that while she understood that the event’s name was somewhat suggestive, she did not think it was particularly offensive.

“It would be one thing if the event was advertised with photos of busty, half-naked women or something along those lines, but it clearly shows a picture of a water jug,” McArdle said.

Congratulations are due to Ms. McArdle, who is apparently the only woman on Cornell’s campus who does not have a massive stick up her ass. Although to be fair, her idea for an ad actually sounds pretty good.

Pi Kapp had held the event for nine years until they were discouraged from holding it last year by the university. So why’d they bring it back? Because all of the sororities asked them to. All twelve of the Cornell sororities asked Pi Kappa Phi to bring back the event because they enjoyed it, and the fraternity agreed because it was a successful philanthropy event. But at the end of the day, sadly all anyone saw was a chance to get offended.

[via The Cornell Daily Sun]


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