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If the TFM policymakers had the same mindset as the Hawaiian state legislators, I’d be allowed to freely haze the interns and rig Golden Tee–I would finally be able to defeat that damn Dorn every round. This would all be legal, and it would make me a happier, stress-free writer who could complete my duties more effectively and efficiently. Unfortunately, only Dorn and Bacon can touch the interns and Dorn guards that machine tighter than monkey nuts, so I am left to stalking Hot Piece and taking shits on StuffFratPeopleLike’s desk to relieve stress whenever I visit the office.
The reason I say this is because it was recently revealed that Hawaiian state law allows police and other law enforcement officials to engage in sexual activities with prostitutes in order to do their jobs better and “catch them in the act.” This effectively gives police immunity from the law as long as their actions are done while investigating suspected prostitution.
Hawaiian state legislators recently attempted to revise this statute. They would like to make it illegal if sexual penetration or sadomasochism (so you don’t have to Google it: “the giving or receiving of pleasure–often sexual–from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation”) occurs, effectively closing the loophole that allowed undercover officers a little extra fun at work for years. While police will not say how often they use their immunity to catch suspected prostitutes, they claim it is vital to their efforts of eliminating prostitution.
Fortunately for the officers–after enough backlash and testimony–the proposed amendment was removed from the bill. The bill was then passed with its other proposed revision, which raises the consequences of being a pimp or john if caught.
Honolulu Police Department Major Jerry Inouye testified that it would be a shame to let prostitutes know that his officers could no longer have sex with them while conducting an official investigation.
The procedures and conduct of the undercover officers are regulated by department rules, which by nature have to be confidential. Because if prostitution suspects, pimps and other people are privy to that information, they’re going to know exactly how far the undercover officer can and cannot go.
I can only image whichever lawmaker proposed and passed this statute many years ago had to be one of the most pedestrianly corrupt politicians in the history of America.
Somewhere in America, Todd Storm is preparing his move to the University of Hawaii.
[via ABC News]