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Not many fraternities can construct a damn waterfall in their own houses. Sure, you’ve got that one engineering brother who can make an apple withstand the weight of a car by using black magic or something, but a stairway waterfall is something best left up to the nerds at MIT. Stupid smart guys.
From The Boston Globe:
An MIT fraternity house party was broken up by Boston police on Sunday night after detectives found underage drinking, unsafe conditions including overcrowding, and water pouring down a flight of stairs, officials said.
Okay, so far this could be any fraternity party in the United States. I’m aware of unsafe partying conditions at many jankity-ass crack houses that double as fraternity houses that include having water running down the stairs mid-party. It happens.
Detectives then entered the house and saw an 18-year-old male with a can of Bud Lite. As they continued on the first floor, they found the occupancy of the building to be “well in excess” of the posted city limit of 39 dormitory residents.
Police also found the first floor was “being operated as a nightclub,” with low lighting, strobe lights, and an unlicensed DJ providing entertainment.
In addition, a waterfall was found installed on an upper floor allowing water to cascade along the central stairwell of the house. The waterfall was “soaking the marble staircase and adding to the hazardous conditions presented by the excessive occupancy,” police said.
Following the inspection, police evacuated the dormitory of all nonresidents and issued a licensed premise violation to the president of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity chapter.
The violation was issued for a minor in possession of alcohol inside licensed dormitory, overcrowding in excess of licensed capacity, DJ entertainment without approval, and hazardous conditions inside a building.
Marble staircase? Oh you fancy, huh?!
It appears these cops couldn’t have been much bigger dicks. Who knew that you needed to have a license to have a DJ at your fraternity party? Where is the line drawn for that, anyways? You can put an iPhone on some speakers, BUT GOD HELP YOU IF YOU SKIP A DAMN SONG, STACY! Straight to jail, DJ Princess.
Kinda rude for them to call it a dormitory in the official report, too. That’s a “technicality.” Yeah, technically the Patriots cheated when they deflated balls to give Tom Brady better grip on them, but, like, is there even evidence of that? Let the boys play, coach..
[via The Boston Globe]
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