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Copper Moscow Mule Mugs Aren’t Poisoning You Like The Mainstream Media Would Have You Believe

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copper mug not dangerous iowa

Yes, 100% copper Moscow Mule mugs could be poisoning you. And the Cleveland Browns could win the Super Bowl this year, and Elon Musk could be an alien, and I could stop abusing soft-core drugs and making poor life choices. These are all things that are theoretically possible, but that aren’t true or that almost certainly won’t happen.

This bullshit click-bait “news” story got started in Iowa because the state banned the use of 100% copper mugs in restaurants and bars. They did this citing an FDA standard that copper shouldn’t come into contact with acidic foods or drinks (like Moscow Mules). I read that and thought, Wow, that’s a fair point. I wonder how many people have gotten copper poisoning because of these mugs?

So after a bit of research, I found out that there have been zero documented cases of copper poisoning from Moscow Mule mugs. None. Arya Stark posing as Walder Frey poisoned more men in this season’s Game of Thrones opening scene than copper mugs have in the history of man.

I love that if you’re in Iowa, you can poison your body with as much vodka as you like just so long as you don’t do it out of a copper mug. You can order 7 Moscow Mules, step outside, smoke a few cigarettes, and come back to gulp down your booze — but don’t think for one fucking second that you can enjoy them from a copper mug. The government is here to protect your health and they won’t allow it.

I never thought I’d be researching copper for a TFM article (what has my life come to?), but here’s the thing about copper: it’s naturally produced in our bodies. The multivitamin I took this morning had 2 mg of copper in it, and look, I’m still alive! I’m no doctor, but my guess is that you would need to drink like 20 Moscow Mules per day to eventually get copper poisoning from a mug. And while copper poisoning can lead to liver failure, I have a slight inkling that, if you’re crushing 20 vodka drinks per day, you’ll find your way to the transplant list all the same. In fact, at that point you’re probably more likely to be featured on A&E’s Intervention than you are to end up in a poison control center.

Image via Shutterstock

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Ryco is a middling writer and a wildly mediocre stand-up comedian. He runs the unsuccessful Dead Jesters Sketch Comedy Podcast on iTunes.

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