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The Indianapolis Colts aren’t good at football, though I guess not terrible either. They are the Indianapolis of football teams, you could say.
Last season was as mediocre as this one, especially thanks to quarterback injuries. They lost their starter and star, Andrew Luck, and then their backup quarterback and inexplicably untapped Viagra spokesman Matt Hasselbeck went down too. So, as it would turn out, with their depth chart completely lacking depth, the Colts’ punter, Pat McAfee, became the team’s designated emergency backup. Here is McAfee explaining the situation in a standup bit at an Indianapolis comedy club.
— Pat McAfee (@PatMcAfeeShow) November 27, 2016
Dammit that was actually good. Can’t you just make your millions and let me assume you are a good but otherwise, outside of football, average and untalented human being? I do respect McAfee’s hustle, though. Standup isn’t easy, even in front of a crowd that’s basically guaranteed to love you. Just ask anyone who’s ever given a best man speech. Most athletes in his situation would be content to put their names on a restaurant they have a financial stake in but otherwise don’t have to bother worrying about, where they can go get drunk for free whenever they feel like it. That’d be my whole life outside and after the game if I were a pro athlete. Steak, booze, and eventually some very serious health problems I imagine..