NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

Colorado Defensive Lineman Threatens To Kill A Guy For Not Letting Him Into A Kappa Sig Party

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Samson Kafovalu, 19, a freshman defensive lineman for the University of Colorado Buffaloes, was ticketed by Boulder police after an incident this past Friday that saw the football player attempt to force his way into a party at the Kappa Sigma fraternity house.

Kafovalu, apparently drunk and desperate to rage, approached the house but was told he could not enter by the bouncer at the front door. That’s when things escalated, quickly.

The security guard said Kafovalu was not on the list for the party and was not allowed in. He continued to try to force his way into the party and began shouting. At one point the guard said Kafovalu yelled out, “Don’t (expletive) do this (expletive), I’ll (expletive) kill you,” according to the report.

I always like it when the news source redacts the curse words in the story, then it’s like you get to play a profane mad lib.

Don’t MOTHUFUCKIN’ do this AIDS-HAVER, I’ll RAPE kill you.

Leave your best guesses in the comments.

According to unnamed sources, despite Kafovalu’s size, the fact that he was a defensive lineman for Colorado meant that he was relatively easy to restrain.

Although entry into the house for Kafovalu was as elusive as entry into a Pac-12 backfield, the defensive lineman still showed off his impressive physical strength when he destroyed a brick wall simply by bumping into it.

While his friends were trying to push him back, Kafovalu bumped into a short brick wall and knocked part of it over, causing $300 in damage according to the fraternity, according to police.

After police arrived they gave Kafovalu a breathalyzer test and the defensive lineman blew a .120.

Kafovalu was issued a summons on charges of threatening bodily injury, trespassing, consumption of alcohol by a minor and use of fighting words. He was allowed to leave the scene.

Only in a hippie state like Colorado would there be a charge called “use of fighting words.” The university athletic department is awaiting further details before proceeding with disciplinary action against Kafovalu.

While the story says that Kafovalu confronted a “bouncer,” it doesn’t make it exactly clear whether or not the man was hired security or a pledge working the door. If it was a pledge, then that kid deserves a beer and a pat on the back for impressively standing his ground against a giant, drunken, enraged man-child. Just kidding, get his ass outside, he’s got a brick wall to rebuild.

[via The Daily Camera]


Email this to a friend

38 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed