According to a tipster, Joshua Brassow is a freshman at Saginaw Valley State University. Josh recently went a little overboard at a “kickass” open bar wedding, mixing hard cider with Fireball, “when some fucking dude came up” to him and his boys and started feeding them shots. Josh then “hit the dance floor pretty fucking hard,” and he was so drunk at that point that he even turned away a “hot blonde bridesmaid who was goin for [him] pretty hard.” Damn. Dude was lit, clearly (still don’t know if I’m using that word right).
Josh’s BAC level had reached its tipping point, because bad things happen to good people. “After running around outside and getting lost under the barn,” Josh passed out. He was found soon after, then began “puking real bad.” This is when it got scary for Josh. How scary? Josh stopped breathing “and shit.”
I was so nauseous, I started holding my breath so my lungs didnt move my stomach and make me puke again. I lost consciousness while holding my breath and people had to shake me awake and get my [sic] to breath.
People were pretty freaked out that I stopped breathing so they took me to the emergency room and they hooked me up to an IV and shit. I kept passing out holding my breath and would wake up to all sorts of alarms from the monitoring machines.
Josh kept it pretty chill in the emergency room, though, obviously. “I made a lot of jokes with the nurses and we had a fucking good time,” according to Josh. Classic. That’s so Josh. Oh, and his “IV was the fucking bomb cuz” he didn’t even feel hungover the next day. That’s big. He felt so good after only three hours of sleep that someone bought him a Subway footlong and he “crushed that shit.”
The bad news for our boy Josh is his hospital bill was $955. That’s steep af since he’s a “college student and shit.” If you have a heart and want to pitch in to help Josh pay his bill, go to his GoFundMe page to donate and shit..