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The ability to drink on long, trans-oceanic flights is one of the only things that makes the excruciating journeys bearable. Between sharing an armrest with a fatso for six hours, eating shitty airline food, and risking getting a brain aneurism from sitting down for too long, alcohol is all there is to look forward to on planes.
Eric Matthew Schneider knew this, and he knew it well. Dude got absolutely hammered on a Delta Air Lines flight, fucked around at 39,000 feet, and was subsequently taken into FBI custody. You can’t blame him. I mean, sometimes when you’re at altitude and the ear pain gets unbearable, you need to self-medicate. That’s not what happened in Eric’s case, but is what I would’ve told the feds if I were Eric in an attempt to explain the drunken shitstorm he created on his flight from Seattle to Maui back in August.
From Travel Pulse:
The FBI’s criminal complaint, via the AP, has Schneider imbibing a double tequila cocktail, and then demanding more alcoholic beverages. Two hours after takeoff, passengers near the now-soused man were asking to be moved, as Schneider was threatening them.
The complaint continued by describing how a flight attendant tried to calm Schneider. But this caused him to grow more agitated and he started swearing, advanced on the crewmember, and then pushed him.
Then, “when a nearby passenger tried to calm Schneider down, Schneider threatened to kill the passenger,” said the complaint.
The drunken passenger made his way to the galley, followed by the flight attendant, where another physical altercation took place, which resulted in Schneider falling into a passenger’s lap. “Simultaneously, Schneider grabbed the curtain between the galley and the passenger seating area, and ripped it off its rings,” an FBI agent wrote in the complaint.
Once restrained with plastic handcuffs, he managed to slide one of his hands out, the complaint added.
Apparently our boy Eric also pissed all over the walls and ground of the airplane lavatory as well. It could’ve been much worse, though — he could’ve tampered with the lavatory’s smoke detector. Regardless, Eric was still banned from ever flying on Delta Air Lines again.
In a weird way, I respect Eric’s bravery. Acting like he did where he did could have easily had him mistaken for a terrorist. I wouldn’t have been surprised if an air marshall disguised as a tourist — I’m thinking bucket hat, camera on a strap around his neck, and Hawaiian shirt — whipped out his glock and gave Eric a lead enema in the name of freedom. I’m not sure if Eric took that specific scenario into account when he decided to attack everything in sight, but he’s still a brave soul nonetheless.
Here’s to hoping Eric finds a way to sneak some alcohol nips into jail..
[via Travel Pulse]