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Holy Shit: College Football Starts Today

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Everything about today is just a little better. The sky is a little bluer. The air is a little fresher. My morning McGriddle is just a little tastier. And why is that? Because college football is back today, my friends. And it’s not going away for another four months.

Tonight, in Australia, the University of California will take on the University of Hawaii to kick off the regular season on ESPN. It may not be a good game. Cal, a 20-point favorite, is supposed to handle the Rainbow Warriors with ease. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be enjoying every second of it.

Look how excited these Aussies are about hosting a college football game for the first time since 1987.

Here is a little gambling preview of the game, courtesy of SB Nation:

Betting Line / Total: California -20 / 64 Points

Cal is 3-0 ATS in its last three games as a favorite of 20 points or more.

The total has gone UNDER in seven of Cal’s last 10 games.

Hawaii has lost 18 straight games as an underdog of 20 points or more and is 4-8 ATS in its last 12 such games according to the OddsShark College Football Database. In the team’s last three games as this big of an underdog, the Warriors have been outscored a combined 121 to 0.

Under head coach Norm Chow, the Warriors had one of the most anemic offenses in the country, compiling a record of just 11-39 SU since the start of the 2012 season. After enjoying success as an offensive coordinator and quarterback coach at Hawaii and most recently Nevada, Nick Rolovic will make his head coaching debut this season and try to infuse some much needed offense back into the program.

Hawaii ended last season on a 1-9 SU and ATS skid, and hasn’t recorded more than four wins in a season since 2011.

Because it’s the first game of the season and Cal is playing with Davis Webb instead of Jared Goff, and because it’s the debut for Hawaii head coach Nick Rolovich, I’m taking Hawaii with the points.

I think it’s going to have the sloppiness of a preseason NFL game — because it’s so early in the season and because each team traveled at least 5,000 miles to get to Sydney. If you would rather bet the O/U at 64, take the over. Cal’s defense was awful last season, and they return just five starters in 2016. I mean, this is the same team that would have lost to Texas last year if it wasn’t for this:

Yeah, I was about 40 yards away from that. Easily the most brutal ending to a game I’ve ever seen in my life. I would never advocate for a public execution, but I was pretty close to calling for Nick Rose’s fucking head that night.

OK, time to wake up the fraternity bookie and hit him with the following bets:

Steve Holt Has Got You Covered

Current Record: 0-0


Hawaii — + 20


Welcome back, college football. You were dearly missed.

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