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College Football Preseason Top 10 Predictions

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Let’s be honest–if you aren’t excited for the college football season, your parents either pay (or paid) way too much or way too little for your college education. Bestowed upon us is an extra 16 weeks of Christmas, gift-wrapped within tailgates, gambling addictions, and untraceable rivalries.

Year after year, I become more pumped for the college football season. Maybe it’s because each new year brings an opportunity for my team (MIZ) to win a national championship. Maybe it’s because every new season provides a legitimate reason for me to go back home and relive the game day festivities like I’m a 20-year-old kid with absolutely no fucks to give. Mostly, I attribute it to the fact that ESPN absolutely blows when you have to watch pure baseball highlights for two straight months. No knock on baseball, but it’s true.

We broke down the AP Top 10 to discuss the possible outcomes of the teams’ seasons, so let’s get into it.

1. Florida State

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Best Case Scenario: 14-0 (National Champions)

Worst Case Scenario: 10-2 (Jameis Winston pulls a Jameis Winston and finds himself in trouble–again. The talented team drops one regular season game to an awful ACC opponent and loses its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: I don’t think this comes to many as a surprise. Florida State will highlight the ACC this year, and probably the next couple years to come. FSU has loaded up on top recruits and Florida athletes for the past few seasons, and it looks like the team will just plug these guys into the missing gaps from last season. Plus, the ACC is just terrible. Who knew Duke had a football team before last season?

Games To Watch: Oklahoma State (neutral site) on Aug. 30, Clemson at home on Sept. 20, Notre Dame at home on Oct. 18 (solely for the fact that I like watching ND get the shit kicked out of it), and at Miami on Nov. 15.

*** This one is interesting, because when we sat down to discuss the outcome of Florida State’s season, one of the guys who makes up the Sports Guys sent this text:

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We added it to the article.

I’m not betting that he’s right about this, but he holds his conviction to this comment. For the sake of college football and this kid’s chances of going to the next level, let’s hope he’s wrong.

2. Alabama

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Best Case Scenario: 14-0 (National Champions)

Worst Case Scenario: 12-2 (Inevitable loss to an inferior team and a loss in the Iron Bowl. Nick Saban addresses his players and explains that if they lose their bowl game, he will personally hand deliver each and every one of their souls to the depths of hell; Bama wins its bowl game by five and a half touchdowns and covers the spread by 30.)

Season Prediction: I believe Alabama will win the national championship this year, and I’m not just pulling for the SEC here. I honestly don’t believe there is a better coached team with enough talent to outlast Alabama with the new playoff format. Alabama is in the midst of its first quarterback battle since 2009, and Coach Saban is confident with either Blake Sims or Jake Coker, which basically means neither one can fuck up enough to derail the Alabama gravy train.

Games To Watch: At LSU on Nov. 18, Auburn at home on Nov. 29.

3. Oregon

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Best Case Scenario: 12-1 (Loss in the first round of the playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 10-3 (Losses to Michigan State, UCLA, and Stanford, with a win in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: With Mariota coming back, Oregon will have no problem throwing points onto the scoreboard. However, its schedule is deceivingly tough, with a game at UCLA and a home game against Stanford. Oregon is also hosting Michigan State for the second game of the regular season, which should provide a great, early test against a well coached defense.

Games To Watch: Michigan State at home on Sept. 6, at UCLA on Oct. 11, and Stanford at home on Nov. 1.

4. Oklahoma

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Best Case Scenario: 12-2 (Loss to either Baylor, Kansas State, or Oklahoma State, and a loss in the first round of the playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 11-2 (Loss to Baylor and Kansas State or Oklahoma State, and a win in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: First and foremost, I wouldn’t mind watching Oklahoma lose every single game this year. To be honest with you, I’ve got no problem with any of the OU players, or even the fans. My problem is with Bob Stoops. Stoops wants to be Nick Saban so bad it’s starting to become pathetic. Put the Sports Guys on record by stating that we believe Bob Stoops is the poor man’s Nick Saban. We also believe that we have just paid Bob Stoops the greatest personal compliment he has ever received. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Bob, and your team’s bowl victory against Alabama in 2013 was equivalent to one of Michael Jordan’s many forgettable missed buzzer beaters. Shit happens, but it doesn’t make you the king of the castle. Stoops will go to any sketch length to win another national championship to justify all of the crap that he professes about the Big 12 and the SEC being on an equal competitive level…I mean, Oklahoma picked up freak-athlete Dorial Green-Beckham after he was dismissed from Missouri.

As far as competition, we don’t believe Texas is good enough yet to beat Oklahoma this year, but I can see the team losing to either K-State or Oklahoma State with a guaranteed loss to Baylor.

Games To Watch: Red River Shootout versus Texas on Oct. 11, Kansas State at home on Oct. 18, Baylor at home on Nov. 8, and Oklahoma State at home on Dec. 6.

5. Ohio State

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Best Case Scenario: 13-1 (Loss in the first round of the playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 9-3 (Losses to Virginia Tech, Michigan State, and Michigan.)

Season Prediction: Can anyone please explain to me how a Big Ten fan can even consider mentioning his conference in the same breath as the Big 12, Pac-12, or SEC? The Big Ten is the most overrated conference in our opinion–however, Ohio State is more or less the real deal. Urban Meyer is just a winner, and we doubt any team in the Big Ten is going to change that for a long time. I’m sure Braxton Miller has gotten better from last season and Deonte Wilson will fill in nicely for the departed Carlos Hyde. Meyer’s recruiting classes from the past few years will keep the team in the playoff conversation for years to come.

Games To Watch: Virginia Tech at home on Sept. 6, at Michigan State on Nov. 8, and Michigan at home on Nov. 29.

6. Auburn

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Best Case Scenario: 12-1 (Loss to Alabama at the end of the season; misses the playoffs, but wins its bowl game.)

Worst Case Scenario: 10-3 (Losses to Alabama, South Carolina, and Georgia, but still wins its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: Auburn needed to pull the horseshoe, lucky rabbit foot, and 4-leaf clover out of its ass to beat both Georgia and Alabama in order to make it to the national championship last year. The team’s running game was incredibly lethal, and Tre Mason accounted for more than 1,600 rushing yards and 22 touchdowns. Will Auburn be able to replace his production and find ways to get Sammie Coates significant touches? This seems pretty unlikely. Alabama will beat them out for the SEC West title spot.

Games To Watch: LSU at home on Oct. 4, South Carolina at home on Oct. 25, at Georgia on Nov 15, and at Alabama on Nov. 29.


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Best Case Scenario: 11-2 (Two losses to either Arizona State, Oregon, USC, or Stanford.)

Worst Case Scenario: 8-5 (Losses to Arizona State, Oregon, USC, and Stanford, along with a loss in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: UCLA’s tough schedule, along with the loss of playmaking abilities from Anthony Barr, Xavier Su’a-Filo, and Shaq Evans only provides an uphill battle for the upcoming season. On top of that, Brett Hundley is just not as impressive as many scouts would have you believe, and he will probably disappoint the Bruin faithful.

Games To Watch: At Texas on Sept. 13, at Arizona State on Sept. 25, Oregon at home on Oct. 11, USC at home on Nov. 22, and Stanford at home on Nov 28.

8. Michigan State

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Best Case Scenario: 13-1 (Loss to either Oregon or Ohio State, win conference and bowl game.)

Worst Case Scenario: 11-3 (Losses to Oregon and Ohio State, loss in its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: Michigan State has a great defensive reputation that it will carry into the 2014 season. Offensively, the team will be unable to keep up with the likes of Oregon and Ohio State. With Michigan State and Ohio State both aligned to the East Division, Michigan State seems shit out of luck to repeat its conference championship.

Games To Watch: At Oregon on Sept. 6, Michigan at home on Oct. 25, and Ohio State at home on Nov. 8.

9. South Carolina

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Best Case Scenario: 12-2 (Two losses to either Georgia, Missouri, or Clemson, but it will make it to the conference championship and lose to either Alabama or Auburn. Then the team will win its bowl game.)

Worst Case Scenario: 8-5 (Losses to Georgia, Missouri, Auburn, Florida, and Clemson; will win its bowl game.)

Season Prediction: The SEC East is slated to be a three-dog race between South Carolina, Georgia, and Missouri, and the team will have its hands full getting to the SEC championship this year. Luckily for the Cocks, the team plays both Georgia and Missouri in Columbia, S.C. We can’t see South Carolina keeping its home win streak intact because of these two games. Please call us homers, but as true sons of Mizzou, we are sure Missouri will beat South Carolina on Sept. 27, barring any major injuries to the Mizzou roster.

Games To Watch: Georgia at home on Sept. 13, Missouri at home on Sept. 27, at Auburn on Oct. 25, and at Clemson on Nov. 29.

10. Baylor

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Best Case Scenario: 13-1 (Wins the Big 12 outright, loses first round of playoffs.)

Worst Case Scenario: 11-2 (Loses to Oklahoma and K-State, wins bowl game.)

Season Prediction: Baylor is our favorite to take the Big 12 this year. I honestly think Baylor’s wide receivers and quarterback score as much on the field as they do with shameless groupies off the field. If the past few seasons were any indication of what Baylor has in store for 2014, no other team in the Big 12 can keep up with these guys’ ability to put points up on the board. Bryce Petty only threw for 204 yards against Oklahoma last year, but the Bears were still able to win 41-12.

Games To Watch: At Texas on Oct. 4, at Oklahoma on Nov. 8, and Kansas State at home on Dec. 6.

Are we sure that our Top 10 predictions will be correct? Well, yeah, about as sure as you are walking into a classroom for the first time at the end of a semester with nothing in your pocket but an Adderall and a cheat sheet. Take it for what it’s worth.

The season is less than two weeks away. Make sure to follow us, @TokenSportsGuys, for our weekly picks throughout the season.

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A former collegiate athlete and a number crunching Jew comprise the team known as the TokenSportsGuys. If there's a game to pick, we've probably picked it.

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