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College Dropout Evicted From College Dorm, Refuses To Leave

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If there’s one thing I don’t miss about college, it’s the dorm life. It was fun for the first semester of college life — hiding alcohol in the mini fridge your dad bought and having to sexile your roommate when your Tinder matches came to visit.

By the second semester, the allure of living away from Mom and Dad in a glorified residential shoe box faded away.

Some people just loved the dorm life, though. Take this chick, for example.

From The New York Post:

Hunter College is waging a court battle to evict a stubborn student who refuses to leave her dorm room some two years after dropping out.

Delaware native Lisa S. Palmer — who has not paid rent since 2016 — refuses to leave Room E579 at the school’s 425 E. 25th St. co-ed dormitory, according to an eviction lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court.

Damn, just when you thought that that angrily worded letter from my RA freshman year was bad, it’s nothing compared to an actual fucking legal battle. Still, why the hell is she so dead set on staying in a college dorm?

Though school officials say Palmer dropped out, she insists Hunter refused to let her register for fall 2016 classes after she disputed her housing and tuition bill.

“I felt that it was a miscommunication initially, but after I met with the dean I felt that they were starting to treat me unfairly. It was like, ‘Get out,’” she said.

Look, here’s a little novel fucking idea: Maybe college dorms should only be for college students?
Probably the first time someone’s proposed something like this.

Palmer, who first enrolled in Hunter in 2010 after a stint at St. John’s University in Queens, said dorm life is “really lonely” for someone in her 30s.

“I feel very isolated,” she said.

Oh, you’re lonely being alone in a dorm room by yourself? Let’s fix that the same the way every university in America does: by having a computer choose someone for you to live with. Sure, they try to pick someone similar, but next thing you know, you’re stuck with a musical history major that likes practicing cello solos at four o’clock on Friday mornings while you’re trying to nurse off a Thirsty Thursday hangover.

Look, as much as I want to be on your side, this isn’t a cool fifth-year senior story I can get behind. I see no reason you’re living in a college dorm. In fact, just reading it is kind of depressing and bringing back bad memories from freshman year.

Try an air b’n’b instead.

[via The New York Post]

Image via Unsplash

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Previously known for being the 4th best improv comedian in the state of New Jersey, he enjoyed a brief career in politics by serving on his fraternity's eboard until a scandal not as bad as the Lewinsky scandal, but more memorable than Whitewater lead to his resignation. Now, he spends his time making God awful jokes in chapter meetings, rooting for a shitty New Jersey hockey team, and serving on the congressional committee set to determine whether Oprah Winfrey should be classified as a cult or a religion.

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