Fairfield University Chick Got All Sorts Of Wild After Her Boyfriend Suggested That They Break Up

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angry woman

Passed on through the generations by our forefathers through campfire tales and shanty-town sermons, the serious implications of sticking your dick in crazy is one of the more enduring facets of American fucklore. And yet, despite the warnings disseminated via this oral tradition, the prospect of dating a hot chick who may or may not cut your balls off while you sleep is one that many of us just can’t pass up.

Once the lifespan of such a relationship has run its course though, removing oneself from the situation necessitates a calculated escape plan comprised of red herrings, decoys, and smokescreens just making a fucking run for it.

One sorry Fairfield University lad found that out the hard way that verbally suggesting a parting of ways was the incorrect maneuver, after the recipient of said suggestion — aka his girlfriend — decided to beat the shit out of him.

From Fairfield Citizen:

Kathryn A. Mahoney, 19, of Nashua, N.H., was charged with third-degree assault and disorderly conduct. The victim took himself to St. Vincent’s Medical Center for treatment for his bloody and swollen nose.

According to the police report, Mahoney first struck the victim in the stomach and then punched him in the face with a closed fist after he said he thought they should break up. He said he grabbed her by the shoulders to get her to stop and then ran to a friend’s dorm room for help.

Needless to say, Kathryn was pretty, pretty steamed. A series of unfortunate events indeed.

And while the assault inflicted was third degree, the learning experience of our tragic hero was no doubt first-rate. Just kidding, he’ll likely be on that first-class flight to crazy town before those nose bandages even have a chance to heal.

[via Fairfield Citizen]

Image via Pexels

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