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Or, as the liberal media would probably prefer me to have titled this piece, “AGR Fraternity Member Opens Fire At Fraternity House.”
Call Type: Negligent Discharge of Firearm 9:17 p.m., Alpha Gamma Rho Fraternity
Patient in the ER who accidentally shot himself in the hand. Patient stated he was cleaning his gun and it went off.
Now, I’m not a big gun guy. I’ve never shot anything more potent than a load in my entire life, and, with my borderline sterility, that’s not saying much at all. Correct me if I’m wrong, though, but I feel like you’re supposed to take the bullets out of the gun before you clean it? You know, rid it of all its harmful powers before you molest it while carelessly pointing it at different parts of your body? Make it not a gun anymore, but rather a glorified paperweight? Hell, who am I to say all that — I’ve never handled one. I probably don’t know what I’m talking about.
Words of encouragement to the victim: Jason-Pierre Paul blew his hand off, and he’s still somehow better than us regular-hands folks at football. There’s your new role model.
Crazy thing is, this wasn’t even the most bizarre thing to go down at Chico State between 9:17 p.m. and 10:02 p.m. last night.
Call Type: Drunk In Public 10:01 a.m., Humboldt Avenue
Female walking down the street with a bottle of wine and her pants down, She is walking back and forth along Humboldt Avenue.
Call Type: Drunk In Public 10:02 p.m., Oak Dale Street
Subject has been sitting near the corner taking his pants off.
Chico State turns up on Sundays, apparently..
[via The Orion]
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