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CEO Can’t Find Any Fucks To Give, Spends $7 Million On Company Credit Card

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Life as a wealthy CEO must be pretty damn great. In fact, it has always been my dream to lead a Fortune 500 company. The chances of that ever happening are slim to none, but if Joe Biden can become the second most powerful man in the United States, I have the potential to do almost anything.

Those of you in the northeast should be very familiar with sporting goods giant Modell’s. What you probably don’t know is that its CEO uses the company’s credit card like a teenage girl does with Daddy’s at Forever 21, or wherever girls shop now. His habit of bankrolling his luxurious lifestyle using the company’s card has pissed off one too many people, apparently.

Last week, his sister-in-law filed suit against him, claiming he has charged more than $7 million in personal expenses to the company’s credit card. Those expenses include vacations, massages, and World Series tickets for his friends and family. He must be taking some ballin’ vacations in order to spend $7 million.

Some of his other expenses include a $116,000 tab at a local steakhouse, a $38,655 fishing trip to Ontario, Canada, in a private jet, nearly $50,000 on a trip to Puerto Rico, and almost $90,000 on three trips to Disney World.

In addition to those expenses, he tripled his own salary and also reportedly created six-figure jobs for his mom, sister, and her daughter, which require them to do absolutely nothing–in fact, they don’t even show up.

Why has this man not been elected to Congress yet?

In addition to the recent lawsuit, Dick’s Sporting Goods recently accused him of going undercover into one of its New Jersey stores, posing as a Dick’s executive in an attempt to uncover company trade secrets. He tricked an employee into showing him private back areas and answering questions about company operations. Seemingly lacking an ability to appreciate his ingenuity, Dick’s is currently seeking financial compensation for his stunt.

Hell, all is fair in love, war, and jock strap sales.

Even if his career as a wealthy world traveller CEO doesn’t work out, he seems like he’d be a guy I’d love to grab a beer with.

[via Business Insider]

Image via CBS/Undercover Boss

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Bogey Wells

Bogey Wells is a Senior Freelance Writer for TFM News and a former summer pledge intern at TFMHQ. His Spotify playlists are pure garbage. Email:

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