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Endorsing her oral presentation skills on LinkedIn. TFM.
Accusing sorority girls of only using you for your body. TFM.
Barring entry to the girl who got an STD over the summer and citing her as a fraternity health code violation. TFM.
Pledge nicknames aimed to accentuate their biggest insecurities. TFM.
Describing yourself as having a taste for the finer things between pulls of Burnett’s. TFM.
Speaking fondly of unspeakably awful hazing activities. TFM.
Lighting your heater with one of the ritual candles. TFM.
“All it comes down to is this: I feel like shit but look great.” -Patrick Bateman. TFM.
Accusing your exec board of being tyrannical fascists. TFM.
Training yourself to rub one out in exactly 69 seconds. TFM.
Only driving 69 MPH no matter what the speed limit is. TFM.
Doing cocaine before a meeting and taking a video of it. TFM.