News

Canadian Cops Suspended For HOD (Hallucinating On Duty) After Eating Edibles

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toronto police drugs

Once upon a time, in a far-off place called “Toronto” there was a man named Rob Ford who ruled as mayor (may he rest in peace). Although he was a good man by all means, Rob Ford enjoyed the occasional bit of recreational crack cocaine. Did that make Rob Ford a bad guy? Absolutely not, although the rest of Toronto’s city council disagreed.

Rob Ford isn’t the only Toronto public servant who’s been caught doing drugs this millennium. A couple Toronto PD officers found themselves in the same place recently, continuing Mr. Ford’s legacy.

From CTV News:

Two Toronto police officers have been suspended after they allegedly consumed cannabis edibles while on-duty, CTV News Toronto has learned.

Toronto police spokesperson Mark Pugash confirmed that two officers are being investigated by the Professional Standards Committee, which is responsible for “promoting and supporting professionalism,” according to their website.

Canada: so nice it won’t even fire cops who hallucinate on the job. If this was America, they would have immediately been unceremoniously fired, forced to turn in their gun and badge in disgrace, and banished to Siberia or to rehab (I don’t know which one is worse). But nope; in Canada, they’re investigated by the “Professional Standards Committee,” which is a fancy way of saying they ain’t doing shit.

Multiple sources have told CTV News Toronto that the two officers were doing surveillance in a cruiser near Vaughan Road and Oakwood Avenue at around 1 a.m. on Sunday when they ingested the edibles and reportedly started to hallucinate. At some point, one of the officers left the vehicle prompting the second officer to radio call for help to search the area.

I would pay anything to hear the conversation between these wannabe Dudley Do-Rights that lead them to their cannabis-fueled misadventure.

“Hey did you see the Maple Leafs won last night?”

“Yeah, that Austin Mathews is doing mighty good, eh?”

“Wanna go out for a drink after our shift, eh?”

“How about for once we try something a little bit stronger than Labatt, eh?” *takes out bag of pot brownies*

The fact one of them went missing makes the story even funnier. It sounds like some Seth Rogen/Jonah Hill buddy cop movie type shit. Also, I wonder what a Canadian hallucination is. What do they see and/or experience? It being warm outside and them seeing the sun?

O Canada, keep being beautiful.

[via CTV News]

Image via Shutterstock

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ItalianStallion

Previously known for being the 4th best improv comedian in the state of New Jersey, he enjoyed a brief career in politics by serving on his fraternity's eboard until a scandal not as bad as the Lewinsky scandal, but more memorable than Whitewater lead to his resignation. Now, he spends his time making God awful jokes in chapter meetings, rooting for a shitty New Jersey hockey team, and serving on the congressional committee set to determine whether Oprah Winfrey should be classified as a cult or a religion.

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