News

Canada Sends Spy Robot To Collect Intel On America, Philadelphia Saves The Day And Beheads The S.O.B.

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You’re welcome, America. Say what you will about Philadelphia, but some fine, outstanding citizen of my hometown just did this country a huge solid.

HitchBOT was supposedly a Canadian study on how humans would interact with robotics. This miniature, immobile “Lost in Space” looking fraud that relied solely on the kindness (obliviousness) of strangers was set to travel across the United States, starting in New England and ending its journey in San Francisco.

A photo posted by Kyle J. Silva (@kylejsilva) on

Good one, Canada. You think you can pull a fast one on us like that? Not in Philly. We’re not falling for your whole “Oh, golly gee willikers” charade you put on for the rest of the world to see. No one is that polite. You sneaky maple syrup snorting, beaver fucking, Drake fanboys were up to no good. “Hitchhiking robot?” Kick rocks, Canucks. That was straight espionage.

Thankfully, some patriot, most likely from Delco, saw right through your lies like they were a glass of Molson Canadian 67 and ripped the head clean off this R2D2 with pool noodle extremities.

America!

h/t NBC News

Image via Twitter

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

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