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Cam Newton Not So Stealthily Makes HGH Reference In Farewell Post To Peyton Manning

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I’ve been pretty indifferent on Cam, even after the whole post Super Bowl fiasco. Here I am, a white guy that’s all about #sports, and I was neither on my knees trying blow Cam more tenderly than every other pale-skinned writer trying to prove how much of a non-racist they are, or in the equally as outrageous “kids who idolize Newton will grow up to be total cockbags” camp.

That changed today, when Cam joined in with every athlete on the planet to pay their respects to a retiring Peyton Manning.

Screen Shot 2016-03-07 at 2.33.55 PM

Notice anything?



Cam, you sly son of a gun. This is incredible. You’ve officially won me over to the strokefest. What grip do you prefer? Old-fashion or western? Dry rub or should I bust out the KY Jelly?

Wait? There’s potentially more?


Sure, it’s a bit of a reach, and you certainly aren’t huge on spelling, but are you dropping Tennessee tea bagging references, too? I want to believe. No, I NEED to believe that was your intention. This word gets tossed around excessively, but that would be an absolute SAVAGE move.

If you aren’t salty or hold grudges over losses, you’re either lying or lack even a single curly hair on your coin purse. Michael Jordan still had a chip on his shoulder and was roasting mofos that doubted him during his fucking hall of fame speech. That’s just how winners operate. Cam kicking Peyton’s old Papa John eating ass on the way out the door is a sign that he’s ready to take it to the next level. Give me the Panthers holding up the Lombardi Trophy at the end of the 2016-2017 season.

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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