NEW TFM Videos Section

Watch thousands of hilarious videos from college campuses across the country.

Watch Now

British Professor Says That His Synthetic, Hangover-Free Alcohol Will Overtake The Real Thing In 10 Years

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Professor David Nutt (great name) isn’t your average British dude — he’s a professor. Of what? I have no idea; probably some sort of science or something. But you hear Professor Nutt and that’s all you need to make the logical leap that this guy is legit. The Nutty professor says that he has the magic sauce to create a hangover-free alcohol that is going to replace the alcohol we currently know and love. That’s a pretty wild proclamation. Should we believe him? Is he a trustworthy guy? Well, let’s do some background research and find out.

From Forbes:

Professor David Nutt was once the chairman of the United Kingdom’s Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs. But he was fired from the post in 2009 after suggesting horse riding was more dangerous than MDMA ,3,4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine—ecstacy.

Well, I’ve heard all I need to. Nobody is riding horseback into the club, but a lot of them will pop a pill or two for a good time. Clearly Professor Nutt is a progressive man who understands the realities of today’s world unlike his stuffy peers. Maybe he is as innovative as he claims to be.

The next time the professor was heard from was in a September, 2016 article about Alcosynth, a synthetic alcohol that mimics the effects of alcohol without any health downsides . With almost 100 patented chemical compounds under his belt to produce Alcosynth, the professor hopes to raise seven million British pounds to bring to market his synthetic alcohol; for that, he has created a trademark synthetic alcohol search party and company: Alcarelle™.

Normally this would sound too good to be true, but Professor Nutt has won me over. Almost 100 patented chemical compounds? How many chemical compounds do you have, Brad? Take a few bucks of that money you’re throwing at cryptocurrency and invest in the alcohol of the future.

According to International Business Times (IBT), eight scientists are on the job to find and market synthetic alcohol that keeps the buzz but loses the hangover and other side effects, like failing health. The good Professor Nutt told IBT that he expects his product to do to alcohol what he expects e-cigarettes to do to tobacco-based cigarettes, which wipes the original off the map. In 10 or 20 years, according to Nutt, Western societies will be awash in Alcosynth and alcohol will be largely a thing of the past, something only a few diehards will swallow on occasion.

Call me old-fashioned, but waking up on a Sunday and scarfing down some McDonald’s to try and reduce the effects of a massive hangover is kind of part of the whole experience. I don’t want to lose that. Guess I’m not as progressive as I thought. No disrespect to Professor Nutt, but he’s not overtaking real alcohol anytime soon. Too many red-blooded Americans out there slinging diesels to do that. Cool idea, though.

[via Forbes]

Image via

Email this to a friend


Dent is a washed up former athlete who swears he's totally over his ex-girlfriend. One of these days he'll get around to applying to a real job, but until then he'll keep pumping out lackluster articles while downing copious amounts of Natty Light.

15 Comments You must log in to comment, or create an account
Show Comments

Download Our App

Take TFM with you. Get

The Feed