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Britain’s Youngest Lotto Winner Wants To Sue The Lottery For Ruining Her Life

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I’m never going to win the lottery. Doesn’t mean I won’t play — those brief seconds before you scratch your scratchy where you’re already counting your millions is the best high money can buy — I just know it’s a losing proposition. But boy oh boy, are those brief moments when you’ve convinced yourself you’re going to become disgustingly rich absolutely priceless. My whole future life of wealth flashes before my eyes, and it certainly looks glorious.

That said, my clairvoyant viewings of future lottery prosperity never seem to show me the ugly truth of winning the lottery. Apparently it can ruin your life, especially if you win big at a young age. A girl in Britain won one million pounds when she was 17 years old. And now she’s 21 and trying to sue the lottery, claiming that winning the lotto actually ruined her life. And honestly, I think it’s brilliant what she’s trying to accomplish here.

From the Mirror:

Britain’s youngest EuroMillions winner says her ­stupendous windfall has ­ruined her life.

And Jane Park, who was only 17 when she scooped £1million with her first-ever ticket, is considering legal action against lottery bosses for negligence.

Astonishingly, she claims someone her age should not have been allowed to win.

In a breath-taking whinge about her jackpot, Jane, now 21, says the money has made her life ten times worse.

The attractive blonde told the Sunday People she is…

SICK of shopping for designer goodies
STRUGGLING to find a genuine boyfriend who isn’t after her money
MISSING her Benidorm holidays because trips to upmarket resorts are too snooty
BURDENED with the “stress” of being a millionairess

It’s genius. Spend all the money, then say you were too young to actually win and having a lavish life actually has been a curse. She says she wished she had no money. Guaranteed she decided to spend every penny, saved none, and now is a broke 21-year-old who should be in college but isn’t. Well, earth to Jane Park, £1million is nothing. It’s chump change. It’s like a generous tip at Starbucks.

You know how long £1million lasts a 17-year-old after taxes? I’d say about two years. Three tops. And when the money runs out? It all comes crashing down. No more shopping for designer goodies. No more guys throwing themselves at you looking for your money. No more trips to upmarked snooty resorts. So much stress of not being a millionaire anymore. Come the fuck on. Stuff your sorries in a sack, Jane Park.

Let me ask you, Jane Park: How does suing the lottery – effectually giving you more money – solve the problem you’re claiming to be suffering from, which is that having lots of money ruined your life? Just be broke like the rest of us and truly find your happiness. Give me a breakkkkk. Jane Park got a taste of the honey, and now she’s devising an elaborate plan to get the whole hive. Sue the lottery; say it ruined her life; make more millions; be happy again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

[via Mirror]

Image via Instagram/ @janeparkx

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Boston Max

You can usually find me romancing your older sister over at PGP (PostGradProblems)

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