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Brendan Dassey’s Brother Drops Hilariously Bad Rap Song Defending ‘Making A Murderer’ Duo

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It took me six hours to write the headline for this story. There was just so much information that needed to be packed in for it to even make sense. You know what I’m saying, Campbell?

Anyway, Brad Dassey, half brother to Brendan Dassey of Netflix’s smash hit documentary “Making a Murderer,” is apparently a Christian rapper, and Brad just dropped a track called “They Didn’t Do It” in defense of Brendan Dassey and Steven Avery.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Before listening, keep in mind that Brad Dassey’s SoundCloud account explicitly states: “Here’s a track I wrote, spent 10 hours straight on about Brendan Dassey and Steven Avery.”

We’re talking about 10 hours of effort here. He put in work on this track and came as hard as he possibly could. Brad was going to fucking kill this beat no matter how long that shit took. He knew this song had to be straight fire in order to spread awareness of his brother’s innocence and wrongful conviction.

Alright, so that wasn’t great. It lands somewhere between Riff Raff and present day Lil Wayne in terms of lyrics.

“They didn’t do it, they didn’t do it. Come to your senses everything is just foolish. Things clearly showed that it was just a joke. Cops were only there just to prod and poke. Not a fair trial, not a fair game. Whole thing’s wack, just a lyin’ shame. Innocent girl, just gone missin’, puzzle is broken, people upset, just a bad bet.”

I would say there’s no way that Brad actually spent 10 hours on this as he claims, but then I remember that he’s related to Brendan Dassey, possibly the most feeble-minded human being currently drawing breath.

I don’t know what brand of meth convinced Brad that making this song was a good idea, or whether or not Brendan and Steven are guilty (they probably are), but I do know I’m never going anywhere fucking near Manitowoc County. Lock boom bam. GONE!

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Ross Bolen

Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles podcast, host of the Back Door Cover podcast, Rockets, Astros and Texans internet mascot, cheese enchilada aficionado, nap god, 2017 Masters attendee, and Editor-in-Chief of Grandex Media.

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