It’s campaign season so, of course, someone decided it’d be a good idea to pick out the best sports figures who should run for president. Thankfully, the fine folks at FOX Sports were the ones to bite that bullet and gave us 16 figures for me to break down. Let’s look at them.
Need a guy who isn’t going to back down from a challenge? Sherman is that guy. He may not always come out on the right side, but he’s not going down without a fight. Plus, he’s actually pretty smart compared to your average NFL player. That Stanford education has to account for something.
Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
Dale Sr. (RIP) would be a more popular choice, but Dale Jr. is also a popular racer in the NASCAR world. Unfortunately, the NASCAR world probably doesn’t consist of the majority of America. While Dale would bring that blue-collar, redneck thinking to the office, he wouldn’t connect with half our country.
For those who don’t know (like myself), Breanna plays in the WNBA. That’s really the main reason why she shouldn’t be running for president. If we’re going to throw employees who work for defunct companies into the ring, then why don’t we include some former Blockbuster cashier? Breanna hasn’t sniffed any sort of economic success, and we’re gonna hand her the keys to the economy? Pass.
If we’re looking for a young MLB player who exemplifies everything we want in a leader, look no further than Andrew McCutchen. Bryce is a very patriotic guy; I get that. But I’m partial to the leader of my favorite team. Maybe a Harper/McCutchen ticket would be in order.
2015 Jordan Spieth would get my vote. The kid was cool, calm, and collected. He couldn’t lose. Even when he lost, it felt like he won. 2016 Jordan Spieth, on the other hand, is a complete train wreck. Can’t control his emotions or his irons. You need consistency when you’re in the Oval Office, and Jordan needs a few bounce back years to prove to me that he has it.
While winning the USA some Women’s World Cups is tight and all, Abby also fails to realize the whole supply and demand thing. Since retiring, she’s started to combat the whole “pay gap” in women’s sports, citing things like the USWNT getting paid $2M when they won the world cup compared to the German men taking home $35M. But the USWNT made more percentage-wise than the men from the whole pot. Want to get paid more? Create a better product. You don’t see Lenovo employees complaining about their pay compared to that of Apple. Want more? Be better.
Cena is a lot like Big Papi (next on the list) in the fact that he knows how to give a speech. Guy can really pump up a crowd. His convention speeches and insults towards opposition at debates would easily make him a crowd-pleaser. Just don’t get caught in his crosshairs; he won’t hold back.
Big Papi would be a great president. He already has the presidential speeches down to a T.
This is our fucking country, ISIS.
Don’t watch UFC, so I don’t know too much about this pick. Consider her a long shot. A Carly Fiorina, if you will.
Overall, Peyton has that charisma to him that would suit him well in the White House. His one drawback? The fact that he’s hitched his wagon to Papa John. Can’t have that in a president.
Don’t know why she’s even on this list. Is it because she’s a part owner of the WWE? If we’re going with sports owners, then there is only one person who should be on this list: Mark Cuban. She used to have a great rack, though, so that’s a plus.
Part of me hates this idea and part of me loves it. The man has the ability to not only get people to loathe his existence while he goes off and wins for a few years in another city, BUT he can win the hearts of those same scorned people. Not many people can do that. He also once big-leagued Dan at a hoops camp when Dan was 16, so that’s cool.
The whole country would be required to #RiseAndGrind at 4 a.m. and put in a good workout before going off and doing their daily duties. Maybe JJ could solve the whole fat problem of America –which would be good for all of our sex lives — meaning that we wouldn’t have to worry about being nicknamed Captain Ahab.
My personal favorite pick on the list. Gregg doesn’t just win, but he is a coaching machine. Watching a Spurs game is never the most entertaining thing in the world. They aren’t going to wow you with alley-oops, long-range threes, and 360 dunks. The Spurs are poetry in motion, though. Everything is so precise, so effective, and so well planned out. Imagine what he’d do when you give him the reins to the military. ISIS wouldn’t stand a chance.
The People’s Champ would not only eliminate ISIS, but he’d put on a uniform and do some of the dirty work himself. Ever seen him in some of his movies or in the ring? Dude puts a hurt on people. Just imagine what he’d do to some twig that fights for ISIS..
[via FOX Sports]
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