======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
This Sunday, a bunch of hot females will compete for the crown of Miss USA. This year’s competition is stiff, just like me, and includes a handful of girls who are in sororities, so obviously we’re going to analyze the Greek girls who are vying for the crown.
University of Alabama — Alpha Omicron Pi
Love don’t cost a thing, but lovin’ Miss Alabama will be expensive.
University of Arkansas — Zeta Tau Alpha
10/10 would take you out for an evening on the town. 6/10 would even give you a call back.
University of Florida — Kappa Delta
Lollie lollie lollie lollie, let me see you pop that body.
Auburn University — Phi Mu
Those are my Calvins, so please take them off.
Butler University — Alpha Phi
She really puts the ‘butt’ in Butler.
University of Mississippi — Phi Mu
Love a girl with a rebellious side.
University of Missouri — Kappa Alpha Theta
Missouri loves company. I volunteer.
Miss North Carolina
High Point University — Kappa Delta
She wants the Vitamin D.
Boston University — Alpha Phi
Oklahoma looks fantastic this time of the year.
Miss South Dakota
University of South Dakota — Pi Beta Phi
Awooooooooo! is right.
Hampton University — Delta Sigma Theta
Bae caught me cheerin’.
Miss West Virginia:
West Virginia University — Alpha Omicron Pi
Sex-hair game on point.
Creighton University — Gamma Phi Beta
God. Bless. America.
Miss Alabama — Madison Guthrie
She’s the hottie from the ESPN commercial?! Game over. Roll Tide!.