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To the awesome Braves fan who sacrificed the safety of his infant child to make the totally unnecessary, yet quite impressive, one-handed foul ball catch yesterday, I have David Letterman on line one. He wants to book you as soon as possible. Unfortunately though, CPS is on line two. And to his precariously carefree wife that nearly witnessed the demise of her baby from only feet away, you should not be okay with this development.
I imagine the man’s thought process went something like this, beginning with the moment the baseball left the bat and headed his direction:
Oh, hell yes. I’ve never caught a foul ball before and this motherfucker is coming right at me.
Quick, stand up. You need to be able maneuver.
Should I pimp this? Nah, just make the catch. Nothing fancy.
What else? Am I forgetting a step?
Oh shit, I’m still holding my kid. Should I drop him?
Fuck it. He’ll have a good story when he’s older.
* catches ball with bare hand, holds onto baby *
Shit, I’m a dead man.
Or am I? The wife seems happy still. What is wrong with her? I almost killed our kid for a damn baseball.
I hope the cameras didn’t catch this.