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Boss Fires Way Too Hot Assistant Because He Couldn’t Have Sex With Her, Gets Sued, Wins

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Okay, the nice lady in the photo above is not the actual assistant from the story, but you can imagine how much funnier it would be if she was. The perky tit lover’s worst nightmare, that lady is. Damn. Her nips are pointing perpendicular to the floor, and are about to scrape the keyboard. I’m sort of strangely feeling that hairdo, though.

The real assistant, Melissa Nelson of Iowa, was apparently sexy enough that her boss, dentist James Knight, told her that “if his pants were bulging that was a sign her clothes were too revealing.” He then fired her after the sexual tension escalated to the point of no return, brimming with horniness that turned the normally boring dentist’s office into — in Knight’s mind — a no-holds-barred brothel. The classic “shit-or-get-off-the-pot” scenario was then applied to her in the form of “bone-or-fire-her-ass.” The guy’s got cavities to fill. He can’t be poking around in folks’ mouths with sharp instruments when he’s mentally wheel-barrowing Mrs. Nelson after a heavy dose of nitrous oxide. That’s a malpractice suit waiting to happen.

Melissa Nelson

His justification for cutting Nelson loose? To save his marriage.

Nelson, 32, worked for Knight for 10 years, and he considered her a stellar worker. But in the final months of her employment, he complained that her tight clothing was distracting, once telling her that if his pants were bulging that was a sign her clothes were too revealing, according to the opinion.

He also once allegedly remarked about her infrequent sex life by saying, “That’s like having a Lamborghini in the garage and never driving it.”

Ole Jimmy’s got jokes for days.

Knight and Nelson — both married with children — started exchanging text messages, mostly about personal matters, such as their families. Knight’s wife, who also worked in the dental office, found out about the messages and demanded Nelson be fired. The Knights consulted with their pastor, who agreed that terminating Nelson was appropriate.

Knight fired Nelson and gave her one month’s severance. He later told Nelson’s husband that he worried he was getting too personally attached and feared he would eventually try to start an affair with her.

Nelson, naturally, brought the situation to court alleging an unjust termination. The all-male Iowa Supreme Court unanimously ruled in favor of Knight, 7-0.

Such firings may be unfair, but they are not unlawful discrimination under the Iowa Civil Rights Act because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender, Justice Edward Mansfield wrote.

My radar may be a little awry at the moment after a long day of travelling, but this would qualify as an RFM, would it not?

[H/T to m00se]


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Dillon Cheverere

Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. Email:

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