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Dude With Bionic Piece Will Have To Keep A Pitched Tent For Two Weeks To Activate Dong

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A dude who has lived for over 40 years without a shlong is now only a crazy 2 week long boner away from having a fully functional bionic dick.

From Cosmopolitan:

As Andrew Wardle revealed in the 2015 documentary The Man with No Penis, the 40-year-old was born with bladder exstrophy, an extremely rare condition that resulted in his bladder forming outside of his body. As a result, he was born without a penis; and while he was able to get corrective surgery for his bladder as a baby, the operation prevented him from ever growing one.

Wardle was about to accept his sad fate when he heard a story about a British man, Mohammed Abad, getting doctors to install a “bionic penis.”

A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build a bionic dong.

Wardle’s is made from muscle, skin, and nerve grafts from his left arm. After over 100 surgeries, the man is packing heat for the first time in his life. There’s only one catch: he has to endure a painful, 2 week long erection before he can use it.

Basically, the “bionic” part of the penis is a small pump installed in his balls that — like a fountain — will cycle reusable fluid from full to flacid. But doctors have to turn the pump on, leading to a three day hospital stay and the worst blueballs of his or anyone’s life.

Many might say Wardle was just making up for lost time.

Still, Wardle is optimistic. Despite the discomfort, he finally gets to have sex with his girlfriend of many years. Said girlfriend didn’t even learn Wardle was penis-less until about nine months into dating, so how the newfound intimacy will impact their relationship is anyone’s guess.

If I were Wardle, I would be tempted to get into porn. His girl not allowing him to share that cyborg cock to the rest of the women of the world is downright selfish.

Yeah, science.

[Via Cosmopolitan]

Image via Youtube

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Doctor Franzia

*Not qualified to practice medicine*

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