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Halloween is just around the corner, and with it comes seven straight days of booze-fueled costumed debauchery. Are your pledges ready? It’s a longstanding fraternal tradition to “encourage” your pledges to all dress in a ridiculous group costume theme.
Here are some of this year’s hottest ideas to get you started:
1. Daisy Dukes/Cheerleaders
A time-tested classic. Opt for shorter, tighter denim cutoffs and secondhand blonde wigs from the local strip club. If the majority of your pledges have a little too much mid-riff and muffin top for polite society, try skirts and pom poms instead.
2. Those Kids From “Holes”
Dress everybody up in orange jumpsuits and give them shovels. Instead of letting them into the party, tell your pledges they have hang out in the yard all night, digging holes until they find Kissing Kate’s gold, except for the largest pledge, which you will make carry the smallest pledge up a nearby mountain. As an added bonus, an anonymous tip to the police about escaped prison inmates in the area should help you determine how good your pledges are at thinking on their feet.
3. Egg and Sperm
Every pledge dresses like a sperm, except one, who is wearing an egg costume. When they hear the signal, the sperm must chase the egg around the party until they catch him. Blast an air horn and let the chase begin. For extra fun, have your house Sweetheart put on pink football pads with a sign that says “Birth Control” and go around kicking the sperm pledges in the balls.
4. “Get Trent Laid”
Print out a bunch of neon t-shirts that say “Get Trent Laid.” Find a member who’s in a bit of a dry spell. Give him a shirt that says “I’m Trent.” Bonus points if his name is actually Trent.
5. Illegal Immigrants and Donald Trump
Dress your pledges in ratty jeans, old baseball caps, and faded plaid shirts from Goodwill. Draw oily mustaches on all of them with permanent markers. Have your Pledge Educator dress up like Donald Trump and toss the pledges out of your Halloween party whenever he damn well feels like it. Take $20 from each of them and use it to buy extra security so they can’t come back in. The security should wear a t-shirt that says “Wall.”
6. Harry Potter
Force every pledge to dress up like Harry Potter—glasses, red scarf, wizard robes and everything. Then tell them they are supposed to act extremely offended every time somebody implies that they are dressed like Harry Potter. Any pledge caught admitting he is Harry Potter will be shoved into a cupboard under the stairs.
7. Oompa Loompas
Orange face paint, hideous green wigs, white overalls. Have the Pledge Educator dress up like Willy Wonka (RIP Gene) and parade them around in front of your guests. They will be required to sing ironic songs about things that happen at the party whenever your Pledge Educator blows a whistle.
8. Suit and Tie
“Those guys? Forget about them. They’re the staff.”.