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Being Left-Handed Is A Choice And An Abomination

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Some southpaw sympathizing chump that serves as a student government leader at the University of New Orleans recently expressed that right-hand dominant individuals should be next in line to “check their privilege.” This heathen, Darius Miner, serves on UNO’s SGA as Chief Justice and believes society has a bias to righties and only caters to their needs.

College Reform:

Miner calls on right-handed people to check their privilege, observing that “I didn’t realize for a while that nearly everything is structured for convenient use by right[-]handed people, from school supplies to the structure of houses,” and that left-handers often have to deal with discomfort as a result.

“Don’t try to silence a left-handed person who complains about scissors hurting their hand or how uncomfortable school desks are to sit in, or the struggle of having dirty hands from writing in pencil,” he advises righties, adding that they should also support increasing the number of left-handed desks in classrooms.

Oh, it looks like you just got done jerking off the Tin Man every time you take notes? You know who else’s hands were dripping in silver? Judas’ after he sold Jesus down the river to be fucking crucified. Coincidence? I think not. Being left-handed is an abomination.

It’s clear as day in the Bible.

Matthew 6:3

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.

You just can’t trust lefties. They’re snakes. All of them.

Not to mention, there’s no scientific evidence that proves people are born with this plague. Why? It’s a choice. Maybe if you picked up those safety scissors the way God intended, your little decrepit left hand wouldn’t hurt so much. That’s the price for living a life of wickedness and sin. Convert to a path of RIGHTeousness or be damned to a can openerless hell.

[via College Reform]

Image via Shutterstock

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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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