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Beau Hossler Does Awesome At the U.S. Open, Rewarded Zero Dollars

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Beau Hossler was the darling of this weekend’s U.S. Open. Literally, he was a darling child. As Baby Huey outperformed some of the world’s best golfers the nation watched and wondered how far Hossler could take his impressive run. At one point he sat comfortably in the top 10. Unfortunately Hossler’s luck faded and Olympic claimed him, like so many of the other golfers, as a victim. Still, Hossler finished tied for 29th. Pretty damn good for a 17-year-old kid and University of Texas commit. While other kids Hossler’s age spend their days drinking hand sanitizer because they’re more desperate to get drunk than a hobo, Hossler is out there making a name for himself. Good for him. He deserves the large cash reward coming his way for that 29th place finish.

Well, except, he’s not allowed to collect any prize money… because he’s an “amateur.” Amateurs can’t collect prize money in golf. If he were to declare himself a professional and take the roughly $50,000 he earned then he couldn’t play for the University of Texas because he’d be violating the NCAA’s “amateur athlete” rules. There’s no need to get into a big long rant about how amateur athletics are bullshit, just suffice it to say that they are, in fact, bullshit. Beau Hossler not being able to collect a cool 50 G’s and spend it on X-Boxes and hella Mountain Dew is just the latest example. But don’t worry Beau, you still have your pride. So kick back and have a nice, cool glass of Purell. You earned it buddy.

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