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Badass 73-Year-Old Marine Punches Bear, “Ain’t Run From Nothin'”

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Today in certified badass news: Placer County man Carl Moore, 73, saved his dog, Lacy from a bear. Did he use a gun? Did he scare the bear away by making himself look larger than he is? Did he poke it with a stick? The answer to all of those questions is a resounding “no.”

Moore went to check on Lacy, saw a bear inching toward her and tried to shoo the bear away. The bear didn’t budge so Carl did what any former Marine First Recon would do, I assume, and punched the bear square in the jaw. Bare handed, might I add. Mayweather vs. Pacquiao? No thanks, I’ll watch Moore vs. Smokey. This is the polar opposite of what most 73 year olds are doing. Here’s local news coverage of Carl “Bear Puncher” Moore, who looks and acts exactly how you think someone who punches bears would look.

“The man or beast that I run from ain’t been born, and his momma’s already dead.” Damn straight, Carl. You’ve got to love how there’s this tough, bear-fighting Marine being interviewed, but then he gets all sentimental when talking about his dog. Anything for man’s best friend. Un-shockingly, wildlife officials don’t recommend coming into physical contact with bears, let alone punching them.

Needless to say, I think Animal Planet needs to get Carl on the phone ASAP. Yeah, Steve Irwin wrestled crocodiles and fucked around with poisonous snakes and shit, but he wasn’t 73. Carl was destined for the small screen. Even if he doesn’t fight anymore bears, he seems like he’d be entertaining just to watch, you know, live life. Now, let the bear puns run wild in the comments section.

[via CBS Local]

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Fratrick Kane 88

You probably don't want to split a cab ride with me.

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