Next time you get cited for drunkenly taking a leak outside a bar, tell the officer you’re studying physics. At least, that’s what a recent article by two Australian university teachers claims, one author an adjunct associate professor and the other a lecturer.
The article tries to address the reason that science and engineering fields are dominated by men, pointing the finger, or other appendage, at “pee games” we men play as boys. Apparently, our experiences in aiming our pee at an object gives us a “leg up” on women in the field of physics. The article, of course, does not use any data at all to show a correlation between pee games and physics expertise. It simply states that it was one factor among many to explain the gender gap in scientific fields. So much for using science and math to explain science and math, right?
Playful urination practices – from seeing how high you can pee to games such as Peeball (where men compete using their urine to destroy a ball placed in a urinal) – may give boys an advantage over girls when it comes to physics. And we believe there’s something we can do about it.
No doubt you have some questions, the first is probably: what could possibly lead us to believe this?
Well, for starters, our recent analysis of the kinds of physics questions females generally do worse at than males. Add to that strong evidence for the widespread nature of certain kinds of pee-based game-playing among young (and not-so-young) boys. Finally, throw in our observations on curriculum sequencing and the ways in which formal, mathematically codified physics is often introduced to children and young people.
This is the dumbest pile of flaming crap I’ve ever read. Sure, guys get plenty of practice with depth perception by aiming our stream at urinal cakes, throwing footballs, tossing empty beer bottles at the trash can, playing beer pong, or trying to sink putts after 17 holes of drinking in the hot sun, but that has nothing to do with our ability to put the numbers on paper and ace a physics exam or excel in any other math or science-heavy field. Of all the factors blamed for fewer women being in math and science fields, “pee games” is the most moronic.
And what is the solution here anyway? Have women crab walking outside so they can practice their distance squirt and learn physics from it? They’re not Russian hookers. Well, not all of them. Teach young women math and science the normal way. I mean, by this theory, strippers who do ping pong ball party tricks should be winning the Nobel Prize in Physics. I say if you want to be taken seriously as a professor or lecturer and do something effective for your wives, daughters, and nieces, stay away from pee..
Image via Shutterstock