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It’s time for a weekend trip around the globe to a place called Australia: A land known for Steve Irwin, Miranda Kerr, giant animals that want to murder you and, as of recently, people triggered by bar signs. Crickey!
For this story, let’s go to The Brass Monkey Hotel located in Perth. Now, I don’t know about you, but their whole “Frat Fest Weekend” theme for New Year’s sounds pretty offensive to start with. My culture is not a costume, mate.
But the moralless bastards at The Brass Monkey really doubled down when they decided to promote the event with fraternity-inspired banners reading: “You teach her morals, we’ll teach her oral,” “our couches pull out but we don’t,” “MILFs and DILFs welcome” and, most offensive of all, “Holly-J and Funky Dip” which is either the band performing or an elaborate appetizer. Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie!
You tell ‘em, Lizzy. My culture is not a costume!!! Bloody wankers!
Thankfully, the bar responded to the many fraternity men deeply offended by the signs by posting an apology on Facebook.
Oh man, Brass Monkey. You really stepped in this one. Do you know what happens when you appropriate my culture? Do you?! Well, it starts with me writing this article. It ends with me strongly hinting that I’d totally be down to go to that fraternity-themed party because my NYE plans are flexible should you pay for my airfare, lodging and food. So put that in your pipe and smoke it!!! Get stuffed, buggers!
(But really, just slide into my DMs and we can work out the deets. Do it. See what happens.)
Shame on you, Brass Monkey. Surely no other local bar could be as big of jackasses as you, mate.
Get fucked, MISB.