Ask Intern Sydney

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1. Why do girls shy away from gingers? I feel like I have no shot with a girl the moment they see my hair.

There are many different shades of ginger, ranging from strawberry blonde to full daywalker. It depends where on this spectrum you lay to really determine your fate with the opposite sex, and you’ve failed to specify that necessary information. Hopefully you look good in hats.

2. What’s the creepiest DM you’ve ever received?

I was recently #blessed with an Instagram DM of a photo of myself. There was a certain male body fluid all over my face in said photo. 10/10 would not recommend this approach unless you’re looking for a restraining order.

3. What is your opinion on beards? Like a Hugh Jackman beard? I know neck beards are a no go, but I’ve never really gotten any feed back on the full beard look.

Anyways thanks for your time, God Bless.

Personally, I’m more of a clean-cut, fresh shaved kinda gal (scruff is acceptable). However, I know there are plenty of ladies out there into the Zach Galifianakis crumb catcher look.

4. Sydney, I’m having a hell of a time with the ladies.  I think my problem is that I’m short. I’m 5’5″. All girls say it doesn’t matter, but I’m sure it really does?  I feel I am a nice guy, I like to party and can be funny.  Not to brag but I am in a pretty good financial position, making over $40,000 a year, as a self-employed farmer.  I go to a dominant Agriculture school in Illinois, surrounded by girls who are looking for a successful farmer to take home to the folks, but no girl seems interested. Do you have any advice?

After some research I’ve found the median annual income for farmers is about 60k. Sounds like you need to put a little more effort into plowing the right kind of fields before you can plow the kind you’re looking for.

5. I am a Junior in college and have been playing the field for the last two years and it has been awesome. However, as odd as it may sound, I have started to find my routine of casual sex and drunken hook ups a tad bit boring and even a little meaningless. So I guess my question is this: How do I find a girl who A) is worthy of a little extra investment and B) Is looking for the same things I am because I find most college girls aren’t as open to the idea as I thought. Thanks Syd!

From what I’ve noticed, every girl around me is trying to get locked down, and fast. If you want a reliable way to find a good girl, I suggest you stay off tinder, bumble, grindr or whatever you’re into. Finding someone you click with is easier said than done so there’s not much advice I can give you, but I wish you the best.

6. What do you plan on doing when you graduate? Find a rich husband or get a real job?

I plan on getting into medical device sales, but obviously I’m counting on both these options panning out.

7. Hi Sydney,

Let me skip the bullshit, let’s make plans for a date this summer. What’s better for you, June or July?

I’ll fly out, talk you to a nice dinner, we can have a few drinks and just enjoy a fun date. You get free food, booze, and a chance to meet an awesome guy, and I get a hilarious story about the stupid time I flew across the country to take out an absolute dime on a date.

Now, just so you get to know a little bit about me, I’m a sophomore at the University of REDACTED, when I’m not drinking I’m probably running a half-marathon still hungover (not sure why I try to run my hangovers off, it never works).

I’m not your average frat-star…. although apparently my collection of boat shoes and polos makes me one, sorry I grew up in Connecticut the land of yacht clubs and boat shoes.

Highlights of my achievements so far include name-dropping the CEO of Zappos to throw a party on the rooftop of an apartment tower he owns in Vegas, and solo-travelling to San Francisco with nowhere to sleep and convincing an employee of the top venture capital firm in the world to smoke me out and let me share her bed for the night.

While I’m no casanova, I like to drink, and I’m sure you do too, so let’s meet up some time. And if I show up this summer can you at least hook me up with a tour of Grandex,

Looking forward to meeting you,

Asking a girl out solely to get a tour of the TFM office. #TFM However, you sound like a really terrible person so I’m going to hard pass that offer.

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Mac and cheese enthusiast. First runner-up for most humorous in high school. D-list celebrity. Professional social media stalker.

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