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Arkansas Head Coach Bret Bielema Lied About His Profession When He Met His Hot Wife

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There are a lot of weird stories that come out of Fayetteville involving head coach Bret Bielema. He’s a poor man’s Mike Leach when it comes to being just bizarre. He doesn’t care what comes out of his mouth, like when he said beating Texas was borderline erotic. Apparently, that translates over to his game when picking up his wife.

Eight years ago, while Bielema was still coaching at Wisconsin, he met his now-wife Jen out one night. Instead of boasting about being a Division I head football coach, which is totally reasonable for Bielema, looking like a bag of milk, Bret dropped a lie on her about what he did for a living and he discussed it on Clay Travis’ radio show Tuesday.

From FOX Sports:

“I always say ‘I have a good memory.’ I don’t know if I remember the opening line, but I remember the opening sequence. It was about eight years ago, I still had some game, brought some A-game. The thing I didn’t do or what I do. I was with some guys with Wisconsin, one of them might have had a [Wisconsin] shirt on. I didn’t. I told her I was an MBA history professor.”

How in the hell did that work for him? Look at the guy. Now look at her.

He’s not what girls would call a looker, nor is MBA history professor a career path women who look like Jen are looking for in a man. Bielema out-kicked his coverage by about ten football fields.

That means Bielema must be quite the charmer if he was able to lock her down. Or, more likely, as soon as she was about to walk away after hearing he teaches history for a living, he quickly blurted out he makes millions being a head coach of the Wisconsin Badgers. That sounds more likely than Bret charming the pants off someone.

Apparently, he used to do this regularly.

“That was my MO. My MO back in the day was, before I got too well known, I always went back as a history professor. Usually you don’t talk to a lot of history professors, you know? If anybody ever caught me off-guard and asked me what I studied or what I was a history professor [in], I went with ‘European religions’ because I don’t know if anybody really knows what that means.

My buddy was always an astronaut, so I had to come up with something equally absurd. But I used it a lot on airplanes, in situations when you didn’t want to talk to someone. If you’re sitting on a plane ride and you tell someone you’re a history professor in ‘European religions’ they usually leave you alone, but they think you’re in a different stratosphere.”

While Bielema may be a sack of shit as a head coach (props to beating TCU, but we all know they’ll finish a good 7-5), Bielema is doing something every guy here knows: lie about what you do. The only difference is we usually lie to make ourselves look better to women, not worse. Doing it on an airplane to get the dude next to you to leave you alone is next-level thinking, though.

[via FOX Sports]

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Harrison Lee

The Boulevard is a Content Manager for Grandex, Inc. He hates soccer and terrorists. He will forget more about sports than you will ever know in your lifetime.

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