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Americans Can Now Bring Back Unlimited Cuban Cigars And Rum

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In the finest political news of this calendar year, the American limitation on importing Cuban rum and cigars has officially been lifted. The original ruling was that only $100 worth of cigars and rum could be allowed in a person’s carry-on luggage, but that rule is out the window. Throw away that pack of White Owls, because it’s time to live like kings again.

Under the new rules, travelers can purchase unlimited quantities of Cuban rum and cigars in any country where they are sold so long as they are for personal consumption. Sorry American couch potatoes: You can’t order Cuban rum and cigars online and have them shipped to your home.

The regulations issued by the U.S. Treasury Department will make it easier for U.S. companies to import Cuban-made pharmaceuticals, U.S. agricultural companies to sell their products to the island and Cubans to purchase U.S.-made goods online.

The changes follow a series of steps taken since President Obama and Cuban President Raúl Castro announced on Dec. 17, 2014, that the Cold War foes would normalize relations after more than a half century of enmity.

“The Treasury Department has worked to break down economic barriers in areas such as travel, trade and commerce, banking, and telecommunications,” Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew said. “Today’s action builds on this progress by enabling more scientific collaboration, grants and scholarships, people-to-people contact, and private sector growth.”

Get off your political soap box and relax, Secretary Lew. There’s not a soul on the planet who’s looking at the end of this embargo as a win for science or intercultural communication. We just want three things: beautiful Cuban women, fine imported rums that demand a fresh lime wedge, and cigars so odorous that the homeless guy with anosmia will be asking us for some breathing room. Cram all your talk about progress because the only reason I’m going to Cuba is to knock up a local and score some substances.

Still, despite our lack of shits given, this move for unlimited Cuban goodies is sure to change the world. After every college student on Earth decides to hit Havana for spring break, those commies will finally come to a conclusion we’ve known forever: Capitalism rules. Before you know it, young cigar entrepreneur Pepe will be cruising the cobblestone streets of Bayamo in his Range Rover while closing deals on an iPhone 7. That’s the world I want for Cuba, and lifting those pesky restrictions is the first step in making it happen.

Viva democracia, Cuba. Just keep those kickass cigars coming and we’ll teach you how to live.

[via USA Today]

Image via Shutterstock

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Karl Karlson

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in Eastern NC where he spends his time roasting pigs and attempting to grow a beard. Karl enjoys drinking on elevated surfaces and rapping on podcasts.

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