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I watched it the same way all normal college kids see movies. I went to some sketchy Chinese website, closed out of the MacKeeper popup, cleared my cookies, and hit play.
For the most part, I found the movie to be a stunningly brilliant character study on the deadliest sniper in U.S. history. Some scenes are emotionally stirring, like when a veteran approaches Chris Kyle (played by Bradley Cooper) at a car service station and continuously thanks Kyle for saving his life. Kyle reacts as awkwardly as I do when old neighbors talk to me about college at the neighborhood Christmas party.
And yet, of all the mind-blowing war scenes in “American Sniper,” the one I couldn’t get out of my head as the credits rolled was this one:
Look how fake that damn baby is. Eastwood had a $60 million budget for this film and he apparently thought the best course of action was to run to the local Los Angeles Toys “R” Us and pick up a plastic baby doll.
Watch as its motionless, artificial body get coddled by Cooper. Its arms can’t move. That looks like the deadest of all dead babies. Cooper tries to conceal the awkwardness of fathering a stiff children’s toy by squeezing it as close to his chest as he can before leaning over to set it down so nobody will see the lifeless doll corpse collapse into the crib. It doesn’t work. We know it’s a doll.
Sixty million dollars should get you one regular human child. Babies don’t have any lines, so by union rules that I assume exist and am not making up, you probably wouldn’t even have to pay them as much.
Suspension of disbelief is ruined here and you remember that the guy holding the baby is the same dude who let a naked Asian man out of his trunk in “The Hangover.” This important and slightly grim scene is forever hilarious because of that prop doll.
I still recommend seeing the movie. Just go to the bathroom during this scene..
Image via YouTube