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This Alcohol Substitute That Gets You Drunk Without The Hangover Sounds Too Good To Be True

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A British scientist just made a tremendous breakthrough in the world of science. Homie concocted an alcohol substitute that’ll get you drunk without the hangover.

It’s called Alcarelle, and the mastermind behind it, David Nutt, says the beverage can be added to any mixed drink or cocktail instead of the usual whiskey, rum or gin. It targets parts of the brain that make you “feel loose,” while avoiding the parts that make you fall over. It also has none of the toxic effects on the body that alcohol does, which is why it gets you fucked up without the hangover.

From The Washington Post:

Alcarelle is the brainchild of David Nutt, a neuropsychopharmacology professor at Imperial College London and former adviser on substance abuse to the British government. It’s the brand name for a pair of alcohol substitutes that contain chemical compounds, which Nutt calls “alcosynths,” that mimic the fun of alcohol without the consequences.

Alcarelle has not undergone a regulatory or scientific peer review, Nutt said.

Nutt has pursued patents for roughly 90 chemical compounds that have the effect of knocking a couple back, and two of those lab creations have already been tested in humans. They could come to a bar near you if his newly formed company, also called Alcarelle, can raise the money needed to bring it to market, he said. The substitute would be sold as a liquid and added to your favorite cocktail or nonalcoholic beverage in lieu of vodka, rum, gin or other libations.

Billionaires of the world, throw your money at this man.

We have to see this drink sold in every bar across the world. The feeling of being hammered minus the dizzy throw up parts means you’re basically a superhuman. I want to say the high sounds similar to a legal, liquid cocaine, but it’s impossible to know what alcohol would feel like without the slurring and the stumbling — the positive and negative effects have gone hand-in-hand forever. Also, the article doesn’t mention it, but if you get all happy without losing your motor skills, couldn’t this new liquid eliminate drunk driving once and for all?

Part of me thinks this is too good to be true. I haven’t tried it yet (hey doc, if you’re trying to send me some free samples, I’d be more than happy to build some brand awareness for ya), but I feel like it could be a really tame buzz. Either that, or three years after it comes out we’ll discover it causes hair to grow on your tongue or some shit.

And even if it turns out to be the perfect drink that gives you a great buzz with little to no side effects, they still have to take on big alcohol corporations, who will throw every lawyer and fraudulent study they can at Alcarelle to get it shut down. That’s just business.

It might be a long shot, but I’ll raise a regular, hangover-inducing beer to the prospect of a brave new beverage for a brave new world. What. A. Fucking. Time.

[via The Washington Post]

Image via Shutterstock

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Alex Buscemi

AKA Boosh. Former high school back-up wide receiver. Author of two pretty successful Reddit comments. Recent grad from the University of South Carolina.

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