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Alabama Student Arrested With Over 10,000 Xanax Pills, Football Season Could Be Dangerous

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With football season around the corner, major questions at the starting quarterback position, and a huge week 1 matchup with Wisconsin at Jerry World, bad news could not have come at a worse time for fans in Tuscaloosa. The “Roll Tide!” community will be more on edge than usual after local narcotics agents raided the house of Alabama student and apparent Xanny kingpin Ryan Patrick Jones. The Narcs seized more than 10,000 Xanax pills and 141 grams of marijuana; an estimated value of a little more than $75,000.


Jones was charged with possession of a controlled substance, first-degree possession of marijuana and selling drugs near a school.

He was placed in the Tuscaloosa County Jail, where his bond was set at $35,000.

No idea what police are thinking here. You just have to realize where you are and turn a blind eye to these kind of things. If anything, Jones was helping the town in a big way. If there’s one fan base that needs to chill the fuck out, it’s Alabama. I have to imagine the campus is running a little dry after this arrest, so now these lunatics might not be able to get their fix.

Great. That’s all we need. These are the same people that are having restless nights, tossing and turning while murmuring “So who is it, Nick? Coker or Cornwell? We just want answers, coach.” Heaven help us if they actually drop that opener against the Badgers. The streets of Tuscaloosa will tragically and ironically run crimson and the city will burn to the ground after these irrational nutjobs declare the season a monumental bust one game into the season. That blood will be on your hands, TPD.


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Dan Regester

Dan Regester @Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to

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