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For most college football fans, the game comes second to tailgating beforehand. But when your team has kickoff at or before 11 a.m., that leaves an insufficient amount of time to stand on some kegs, huck some bags, and puke on some girls in little black dresses. Sure you can tailgate afterwards, but that just feels tacked on. What truly drives a tailgate is the hype leading up to the game.
Alabama State Senator Tripp Pittman knows this, and wants universities across the nation to fix their ways by abolishing kickoffs that start before noon.
“I think going forward it’s important that the managers of the universities across this state start to consider the fans,” Pittman said from the Senate podium. “The reason for this could be two fold. For one, Auburn doesn’t play well before noon.”
A few of Pittman’s uptight constituents were pissed he had the audacity to bring up college football during a Senate session. Apparently, they’d rather spend the time talking about “budgets” and “taxes” and shit.
“We have a ridiculous ability to come into this chamber and talk about football,” said Sen. Paul Bussman, R-Cullman. “I’m ashamed to be in this body right now.”
I was ashamed to be in YOUR MOM’S body, Bussman. Heyyy.
Unfortunately, Pittman’s idea fell flat, as Senate called for recess immediately after he spoke.
Keep fighting the good fight, Pitt..